January Round Up

January is a slow month - it's after Christmas (eat/sleep/repeat) and there were various delays due to dying computers and internet issues.  January featured guest performer Professor Kaos - this wasn't planned, it's just how the month came out in the edit.  So you got... two episodes of The Museum of Tat and a random thing that grew out from the corner of the recording session and which I couldn't kill.  Enjoy if you haven't already - it's all comedy, and we could all do with a laugh.
February will be more story based, with some episodes of Short Shorts, The Other Day... and some other stuff my brain will create given time.  You can always help support my work by becoming a patron - go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and pledge from as little as a $1 a month.  Or if you don't want to get tied down, why not buy some one off merchandise in my terrifying shop of random.  Have a good one!

Museum of Tat: Plastic Rubber Duck Special


Say Cheese: A Conversation about Cheese



Museum of Tat: Guess Our Tat!

Advent Calendar Day 23

Open the door on the calendar and...

It's part twelve - the FINAL part of...

Attack of the Christmas Squirrels!

The story of what happens when one man's hatred of early Christmas advertising meets his secret squirrel training project.

All episodes will be released on my patron page - but because it is Christmas you'll be able to listen without pledging anything.  Though while you're there...

Listen to the last Episode HERE!

Go back to Episode One HERE and Episode Two HERE and Episode Three HERE and Episode Four HERE! and Episode Five HERE! and Episode Six HERE! and Episode Seven HERE! and Episode Eight HERE! and Episode Nine HERE! and Episode Ten HERE! and Episode Eleven HERE!

And incidentally...

Merry Christmas to Everyone At Home!

Advent Calendar Day 20

Open the door on the calendar and...

It's part ten of...

Attack of the Christmas Squirrels!

The story of what happens when one man's hatred of early Christmas advertising meets his secret squirrel training project.

All episodes will be released on my patron page - but because it is Christmas you'll be able to listen without pledging anything.  Though while you're there...

Listen to the latest Episode HERE!

Go back to Episode One HERE and Episode Two HERE and Episode Three HERE and Episode Four HERE! and Episode Five HERE! and Episode Six HERE! and Episode Seven HERE! and Episode Eight HERE! and Episode Nine HERE!

And incidentally...

Merry Christmas to Everyone At Home!

Advent Calendar Day 15

Open the door on the calendar and...

It's part eight of...

Attack of the Christmas Squirrels!

The story of what happens when one man's hatred of early Christmas advertising meets his secret squirrel training project.

All episodes will be released on my patron page - but because it is Christmas you'll be able to listen without pledging anything.  Though while you're there...

Listen to the latest Episode HERE!

Go back to Episode One HERE and Episode Two HERE and Episode Three HERE and Episode Four HERE! and Episode Five HERE! and Episode Six HERE! and Episode Seven HERE!

And incidentally...

Merry Christmas to Everyone At Home!

Advent Calendar Day 14

Open the door on the calendar and...

It's part seven of...

Attack of the Christmas Squirrels!

The story of what happens when one man's hatred of early Christmas advertising meets his secret squirrel training project.

All episodes will be released on my patron page - but because it is Christmas you'll be able to listen without pledging anything.  Though while you're there...

Listen to the latest Episode HERE!

Go back to Episode One HERE and Episode Two HERE and Episode Three HERE and Episode Four HERE! and Episode Five HERE! and Episode Six HERE!

And incidentally...

Merry Christmas to Everyone At Home!

Advent Calendar Day 12

Open the door on the calendar and...

It's part five of...

Attack of the Christmas Squirrels!

The story of what happens when one man's hatred of early Christmas advertising meets his secret squirrel training project.

All episodes will be released on my patron page - but because it is Christmas you'll be able to listen without pledging anything.  Though while you're there...

Listen to the latest HERE!

Go back to Episode One HERE and Episode Two HERE and Episode Three HERE and Episode Four HERE!

And incidentally...

Merry Christmas to Everyone At Home!

Live Streaming Again

I've been playing around with the possibilities of live streaming over the years - live in studio, with audience, using different platforms.  I'm desperately waiting for facebook live audio to kick in so I can start there - I've been playing with the live video and it's just a sod with my bandwidth.
For the moment I'm going back to live streaming with ustream - there are adverts, but life's a bitch sometimes.  I'm also going to use it to drive my new storytelling.
Instead of doing new work for my patrons on Wednesday, streaming it Saturday and then releasing it again properly to the world on the following Tuesday, I'm going to use the Saturday live streams to try out works in progress.  They'll be full and proper things, just I might want to change it after the live stream and I'll be actively looking for thoughts and comments from the audience.  You.
Then I'll start work on turning that live stream into something for normal podcast release.  It's a process.
So, this week, Saturday at 1pm I'll be streaming the long promised bit of storytelling The U.N. Special Representative.
You can catch the live stream here, this Saturday at 1pm (BST) and there'll be something streamed every Saturday at the same time, unless advertised otherwise.  I will also start scheduling what will be performed prior to each show.
You're probably going to hear versions of other promised shows on the live stream first. We shall see, I may even do some live streamed drama.

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help - there are bonuses and you can get to listen to my new work before anyone else.
Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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Thinking In Sound, Not Space

I've been making theatre for nearly twenty years. I got quite good at it.  Still lots I want to do, still much to learn, but, by and large, I know what makes theatre tick.  It is a known thing.
I think in theatre.  I think in terms of space and entrances, in light and movement, sound and text.  My move to audio has taken about four years, and has taken this long partly because I still think in theatre.  I've been adapting my stage works, creating things that live somewhere between the theatre and audio universe.  Comedy was good for that.  A live audience for recording, I could do that.
But now I'm, by and large, no longer making theatre.  Theatre is the great love of my life, but it's slightly killing me.  Theatre has rarely loved me back.  Now that I've made that decision to stop actively making theatre (I expect I'll do one proper show a year, plus any live audio recordings I need for the podcast) I'm starting to think ahead, thinking about projects and how they work in this medium.  And I do mean thinking.  Actively sitting and thinking about sound, noises, shapes, waveforms, text, Foley, music, not music, soundscape - the range of possible universes that audio wants.  Can I do something exciting and new and different?  I'm learning to think in terms of sound, not space - which is ironic, as a do want to write a sci-fi series set partly in space.
At the moment I'm doing new versions of old projects and well as readings of other peoples stories - this is partly because it's fun, but also to buy me some thinking time.  And a little time to look at the competition - to see what I like and what I don't.  I already know radio, I've been listening to the BBC all my life, but the new wave of podcasts is a different world.  A wild west of invention and also cliche.  I'm hearing a lot of very similar work, similar quirks of sound, similar design.  Partly this is because these podcasts are of a theme - horror, science fiction, comedy - and that's what they do.  And many do it well.  But my podcast platform is not that.  It's different each week (most weeks), it's shaped around how I think, which is to never do the same thing twice, where possible.  I suspect this is probably why I never make any money.  But what can you do?  This is who I am. 
And I'm happy.  I can create different worlds, no questions asked, no marketing policy, no issues, no drama (beyond the drama I create) - and move on if it doesn't work.  And move on even if it does.
Audio, so far, hasn't tried to kill me.  We shall see.
Visit 'The Worlds of Robert Crighton' by searching it in itunes or whatever podcast app you use - or subscribe by visiting... here.

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help - you get to listen to my new work before anyone else.  It's like audible, just cheaper and with no control over the content of your next listen. But you can download and keep my work forever.
Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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The Wheel of Shame - Available Now!

The Wheel of Shame has dropped this morning - listen to it now for free in the player below. Enjoy!

Of course my patrons have had it for a week now, and as a download that can be kept.
Which is another way of saying, become a patron - it's great.  For only $1 a month (and that's my ideal, preferred amount) you'll get a new audio every week, to download and keep, before everyone else - and there will be special bonus audio drops every month or so.  If I didn't have the support of my patrons, visible and invisible (i.e. those who use the patreon site and those who don't - I don't mean magical creatures), then I wouldn't be able to share my work with the rest of the world.  Do give it a look.

This week: The Wheel of Shame or, The Noises of the Hamster in the Night-time
Classic comic ghost story for everyone who's ever brutally murdered their hamster as a child.  Out now.  For those who listen to audio via a video platform, here's the same on YouTube.


Next week (or tomorrow, if you're a patron!):  Metal Harvest - a reimagined version of the stage show, mixing live and studio recordings for the podcast.

Metal Harvest

Written & performed by Robert Crighton

With Music by Richard Fawcett

“This is the story of a shell...” Throughout the First World War the armaments created passed through many hands – from those in the mines and factories who made them, to those who transported the boxes and those who fired the guns.  This is the story of one shell, the story of those who touched it and whose lives were changed by it.  Told in words, music, image and song, Metal Harvest is the latest work from award-winning theatre producer Robert Crighton, made in collaboration with musician Richard Fawcett.  

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help - you get to listen to my new work before anyone else.
Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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What is 'The Worlds of Robert Crighton' and where can I get one?

What is 'The Worlds of Robert Crighton' and where can I get one?
I'm glad you asked that question.  Many people do.  (At least in my head.  I like the things my head says, so much nicer than the things other heads say.  Though I did get a nice comment below the line on something I posted this morning, which is rare.  Recently I've mostly had either silence or untranslatable nonsense that could be an insult against me, my mother... or canals.)

'The Worlds of Robert Crighton' is my podcasting umbrella title - now that I've moved away from full time theatre production I'm producing new audio every week.  Yes, you read correctly, every week.  Not all of it will be my new work, some of it will be readings of classic texts, and the odd random thing, but it will be stuff that interests me, stuff that orbits the sun of my enormous ego.
I think this simile is running away from me.
The point is that there's a lot of new audio coming your way.  Some of the planned projects were announced earlier in the year, many of them have come to fruition, some will take longer than originally planned - and there's a whole host of new stuff coming your way.
To get this material, you can subscribe to 'The Worlds of Robert Crighton' via any good podcast outlet/app/thing (just type it into the search engine) or you can go to my Audioboom page, my website or my YouTube channel (even though it's audio, some people like audio on video, don't ask).
But - if you do it that way then you can only stream the material.  If you become a patron then, not only do you help pay for all this content (ensuring it continues to happen) but you get if earlier than the rest of the universe and you get access to a downloadable and keepable copy of the podcast.  And that's just for those who give $1 a month, give more and there are more returns for your money.  All you need to do is go to my patreon page and become a patron - it's easy and it makes a huge difference to my work.

Here's my planned weekly 'broadcast' timetable: It will get disrupted as we go along, but that's the basic pattern of activity.
Wednesday - New podcast released to patrons on Patreon
Saturday at 1pm - The podcast 'live' streamed online via Facebook Live (I'm currently using the Live Video app, it's not perfect, I'm waiting for the Live Audio app - one day!)
Tuesday - Podcast then released to general internet platforms
REPEAT

So, what's coming up?
This Week: Saturday live stream of the audio that's already dropped for my patrons - The Wheel of Shame or, the Noises of the Hamster in the Night-time - a storytelling piece that I've been performing for about six years now, a comic ghost story featuring Molly, who appeared in the story Bink!
Next Week: Metal Harvest - based on my stage show, a mix of live and studio recording, featuring the music of Richard Fawcett.  The story of a shell from the First World War, from manufacture to detonation and beyond.
The Weeks Beyond: Martin Hewitt, Investigator by Arthur Morrison.  These are detective mysteries from a contemporary of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - seven readings of this first collection of mysteries.  I may not release one every week, I may break them up with some new material, but I don't know yet.

The Wheel of Shame - Patron drop

This week the new audio is The Wheel of Shame, a story I created about six years ago.  It premiered during an evening of comic ghost stories and it has done good serve as a live event.  It now lives on in audio and can be listened to, downloaded and kept, by my patrons, now.  One day early too!  But for everyone else, you'll have to wait until the end of the week, and then only to stream.
Which is another way of saying, become a patron - it's great.  For only $1 a month (and that's my ideal, preferred amount) you'll get a new audio every week, to download and keep, before everyone else.  If I didn't have the support of my patrons, visible and invisible (i.e. those who use the patreon site and those who don't - I don't mean magical creatures), then I wouldn't be able to share my work with the rest of the world.  Do give it a look.
This week: The Wheel of Shame or, The Noises of the Hamster in the Night-time
Classic comic ghost story for everyone who's ever brutally murdered their hamster as a child.  Out now.

Next week:  Metal Harvest - a reimagined version of the stage show, mixing live and studio recordings for the podcast.

Metal Harvest

Written & performed by Robert Crighton

With Music by Richard Fawcett

“This is the story of a shell...” Throughout the First World War the armaments created passed through many hands – from those in the mines and factories who made them, to those who transported the boxes and those who fired the guns.  This is the story of one shell, the story of those who touched it and whose lives were changed by it.  Told in words, music, image and song, Metal Harvest is the latest work from award-winning theatre producer Robert Crighton, made in collaboration with musician Richard Fawcett.  

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help - you get to listen to my new work before anyone else.
Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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How Rude?

I'm in the process of recording Cuckold's Fair - it's the longest audio I've done in one block since a very rushed version of The Natural History of Trolls that I recorded in 2013.  In the mundane world of practical things it means I'm rejigging my recording set up so that it's less actively uncomfortable, but in the artistic sphere it raises another issue.
Cuckold's Fair is very rude.  Deliberately.  It uses naughty words.
In a theatre this is fine, because you pay your money and you take your chances - but for something that goes out online... where filters are a little less... active... what is the right thing to do?

How rude do I make the online version?

I will almost certainly create a paywall version that will be as rude as I like - and let's be fair, it's only actively obscene once - but how do I deal with the text?  Do I rewrite?  Do I bleep/fadeout/add birdsong?  That might be even weirder.
What do you think internet?

In the meantime, here's the latest audio - a short little story from 2011.  There maybe a short out next week to bridge the gap before the epic Cuckold week, but I won't promise that.

Countdown to the Other Side - available on YouTube or on this player.


Cuckold's Fair will be released daily from 13th to 18th February online, earlier for my patrons.

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help - you get to listen to my new work before anyone else.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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The Valentine Day Special

From 2010

Valentine's Day - a time to remind couples around the world that their partners might be cheating on them.  That's correct isn't it?
In 2010 I staged Cuckold's Fair on the London Fringe and it was one of my favourite shows.  I've often meant to revive it (you never know) and it's been on the list of shows to record for online release for years.  Now, at last, after several false starts, it's going to happen.  Here's the schedule.

If you're a patron you will receive the full omnibus edition the first week of February, because I couldn't do this work without you.
If you're not... well, you will get it the following week in daily installments - as the story is told over six days, I'll release it one day at a time over Valentine's week.  Which is seven years to the week since the show was first performed.
At this stage, it won't be a full cast recording.  One day, if revived, I might do a new full cast audio version.  But that's for the future.

Here's a brief excerpt of the piece recorded, very roughly, a lifetime ago...



And finally: if you're a patron you'll already have the patron only link to Countdown to the Other Side - enjoy - the rest of the world will get it next week.  It's rather fun, especially if you have a really good working knowledge of the history of Countdown presenters.

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help - you get to listen to my new work before anyone else.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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Problem Tree is Out Now!

And finally, Problem Tree is released to everyone. Special thanks to all my patrons for making this audio happen.

Problem Tree

Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Problem Tree is the impossible story of one man’s father and a tree that can’t exist. A story of the First World War, of running away from your past and hiding in the future. 

First performed in 2009, this story has undergone many changes and minor rewrites, but it's now time for it to come out on audio.

Watch on YouTube here
Or listen now on this player.

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help - you get to listen to my new work before anyone else.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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Additional New Old Audio - Countdown

I posted a relatively extensive list of future audio posts, but I've missed some possibles out as my schedule expands or contracts - so here's an unplanned audio for next week.  I haven't performed it in ages and had, largely, forgotten about it - so I'm going to record a final version tomorrow for release to my patrons next week.  It will go on general release eventually.

Countdown to the Other Side
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

A short story, first performed as part of Ghost Storyteller in 2011, telling of the slow fading of a poltergeist and its daily routine.

Release for Patrons - 25th January
General Release TBA

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help - you get to listen to my new work before anyone else.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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A Magical World, All In One Place

I'm currently editing Problem Tree for release to my patrons tomorrow, and have started on the next adventure. The not quite full list of new audio coming out this year is below - there is only a rough schedule at present, but I'm aiming to put out something new each week or so.  If you like my work, then consider becoming a patron - it makes a huge difference to the kind of work I can create.

Revivals and Re-releases: Fresh from the Milk Bottle Archives

Bink!
Written by Robert Crighton
Performed by Cat LaCohie

Molly was left alone a lot. Her parents were always out. So she started talking to herself, to the furniture, to the house. And then the house answered back.
A children’s story... just not for children.

First Performed on Tuesday 13th January 2009 at the Tabard Theatre.
Available to purchase online now.
Out now - listen on audioboom or YouTube

Problem Tree

Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Problem Tree is the impossible story of one man’s father and a tree that can’t exist. A story of the First World War, of running away from your past and hiding in the future. 

First performed in 2009, this story has undergone many changes and minor rewrites, but it's now time for it to come out on audio.  

Out now - listen on audioboom or YouTube

Countdown to the Other Side
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

A short story, first performed as part of Ghost Storyteller in 2011, telling of the slow fading of a poltergeist and its daily routine.

It helps if you have a good working knowledge of the history of the presenters of Countdown and it's transmission schedule from the late 90's onwards.

Release Date: January - listen on audioboom or YouTube

Teaching Gods
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton
Winner of the “Best Writing” Award at the LOST Theatre One-Act Festival 2007

The Gods have invaded the University. All thoughts of normal academic life disappear as the campus dissolves into chaos. The flowers walk and the squirrels clean kitchens. Will the agents of chaos win against the hardnosed grey suited form of the Vice Chancellor? What do you think?
Teaching Gods was written in memory of the Middlesex University campus cat. Who had many names.

Teaching Gods was first performed in an earlier version in “the Space” at Sudbury Arts Centre on Saturday 4th October 2003.  This revised version was performed as part of a Double Bill with Fantasy Terrorist League at the Quay Theatre on Saturday 17th March 2007 and won the Best Writing Award at the Lost One-Act Festival 2007.  It revived in the current version at the Tabard Theatre in January 2009 and has been omnipresent in the repertoire since.
Available to purchase online now.
Release Date: March - listen on audioboom or YouTube

The Examiner of Small Ailments
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

The Examiner of the title is a man who can make little medical problems disappear by singing to them. When he moves into the realm of cosmetic surgery (or rather cosmetic singing) he goes from being a strange curiosity into an international figure of 'beauty' and power.

First Performed on Wednesday 6th May at the Quay Theatre before joining the stories of Teaching Gods for the run at Barons Court in 2009.  The show has dropped out of my repertoire as I've been working on a new version.  I'm toying with releasing this based on the original text, but we shall see.
Release Date: TBA

The Shakespeare Delusion
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Professor Ashborn invites you to share in his latest discoveries and lead you through the terrible secrets behind the man people call Shakespeare. Did he really write the plays? Was he really bald? Did he really like cheese? Using recently uncovered documentation Professor Ashborn can finally tell the true and completely true, truly true, utterly true, true, true story of the truth behind the Shakespeare delusion!

Audience Comments for The Shakespeare Delusion (2014): “Fabulous production... Just recovering from high octane performance of @RobertCrighton The Shakespeare Delusion #immense... I SO knew where The Shakespeare Delusion was going - & I was SO wrong!!! Chekhov meets Berkoff as performed by Stephen Fry.”
Reviews from 2016:  "Crighton gives a masterful and energetic performance as Ashborn... It’s surreal and confrontational, played with an intensity that was uncomfortable at times but compelling." pubtheatres1
"A brilliantly original and entertaining performance." Five Stars from londontheatre1.com
Release Date: September - listen now on audioboom or YouTube

New Works: Spanking New Drama & Comedy for 2017

LIVE FROM THE GET IN!  

Written by Robert Crighton

Performed by Abbie Broom, Heidi Bernhard-Bubb, Robert Crighton & Michael Fouldes.  And maybe some special guests.

Live from... is a radio comedy and sketch show – live from in front of the set of whichever show is getting in the following week at the Quay Theatre.  New material, sketches and monologues streamed live online.  

The Saturday 4^th March show is currently in the edit.

The UN Special Representative
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Mr BEEP BEEP is having a trying day.  He was awoken at three in the morning by a team of 'experts' from the UN, because an event on the other side of the world threatens to change his life forever.  However, the letters U and N do not stand for the United Nations, and his crisis is more existential than actual.

I've been toying with this idea for a story for years and am finally ready to finish it.  I don't know whether I will record this in the studio or in front of an audience, it depends what sorry of funny it ends up being.
Release Date: TBA

Prevent
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: TBA

A follow up play to the award-winning Fantasy Terrorist League, Prevent tells the story of a young man trapped in a flawed system that criminalises thought, and where the gap between real and perceived threats is not acknowledged.
Release Date: TBA

Investigate Me?
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: TBA

'Why aren't you investigating me?'  A twisted version of a police drama, where a member of the public insists on being investigated for possible criminal acts.  The young DC doesn't want to be wasting her time with him, but even her superiors insist on an investigation.  Surreal drama.
Release Date:  TBA

Commentary
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: TBA

A new play about the different interpretations of the making of a film, as made during an audio commentary for a DVD release.

Release Date:  TBA

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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