A Magical World, All In One Place

I'm currently editing Problem Tree for release to my patrons tomorrow, and have started on the next adventure. The not quite full list of new audio coming out this year is below - there is only a rough schedule at present, but I'm aiming to put out something new each week or so.  If you like my work, then consider becoming a patron - it makes a huge difference to the kind of work I can create.

Revivals and Re-releases: Fresh from the Milk Bottle Archives

Bink!
Written by Robert Crighton
Performed by Cat LaCohie

Molly was left alone a lot. Her parents were always out. So she started talking to herself, to the furniture, to the house. And then the house answered back.
A children’s story... just not for children.

First Performed on Tuesday 13th January 2009 at the Tabard Theatre.
Available to purchase online now.
Out now - listen on audioboom or YouTube

Problem Tree

Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Problem Tree is the impossible story of one man’s father and a tree that can’t exist. A story of the First World War, of running away from your past and hiding in the future. 

First performed in 2009, this story has undergone many changes and minor rewrites, but it's now time for it to come out on audio.  

Out now - listen on audioboom or YouTube

Countdown to the Other Side
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

A short story, first performed as part of Ghost Storyteller in 2011, telling of the slow fading of a poltergeist and its daily routine.

It helps if you have a good working knowledge of the history of the presenters of Countdown and it's transmission schedule from the late 90's onwards.

Release Date: January - listen on audioboom or YouTube

Teaching Gods
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton
Winner of the “Best Writing” Award at the LOST Theatre One-Act Festival 2007

The Gods have invaded the University. All thoughts of normal academic life disappear as the campus dissolves into chaos. The flowers walk and the squirrels clean kitchens. Will the agents of chaos win against the hardnosed grey suited form of the Vice Chancellor? What do you think?
Teaching Gods was written in memory of the Middlesex University campus cat. Who had many names.

Teaching Gods was first performed in an earlier version in “the Space” at Sudbury Arts Centre on Saturday 4th October 2003.  This revised version was performed as part of a Double Bill with Fantasy Terrorist League at the Quay Theatre on Saturday 17th March 2007 and won the Best Writing Award at the Lost One-Act Festival 2007.  It revived in the current version at the Tabard Theatre in January 2009 and has been omnipresent in the repertoire since.
Available to purchase online now.
Release Date: March - listen on audioboom or YouTube

The Examiner of Small Ailments
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

The Examiner of the title is a man who can make little medical problems disappear by singing to them. When he moves into the realm of cosmetic surgery (or rather cosmetic singing) he goes from being a strange curiosity into an international figure of 'beauty' and power.

First Performed on Wednesday 6th May at the Quay Theatre before joining the stories of Teaching Gods for the run at Barons Court in 2009.  The show has dropped out of my repertoire as I've been working on a new version.  I'm toying with releasing this based on the original text, but we shall see.
Release Date: TBA

The Shakespeare Delusion
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Professor Ashborn invites you to share in his latest discoveries and lead you through the terrible secrets behind the man people call Shakespeare. Did he really write the plays? Was he really bald? Did he really like cheese? Using recently uncovered documentation Professor Ashborn can finally tell the true and completely true, truly true, utterly true, true, true story of the truth behind the Shakespeare delusion!

Audience Comments for The Shakespeare Delusion (2014): “Fabulous production... Just recovering from high octane performance of @RobertCrighton The Shakespeare Delusion #immense... I SO knew where The Shakespeare Delusion was going - & I was SO wrong!!! Chekhov meets Berkoff as performed by Stephen Fry.”
Reviews from 2016:  "Crighton gives a masterful and energetic performance as Ashborn... It’s surreal and confrontational, played with an intensity that was uncomfortable at times but compelling." pubtheatres1
"A brilliantly original and entertaining performance." Five Stars from londontheatre1.com
Release Date: September - listen now on audioboom or YouTube

New Works: Spanking New Drama & Comedy for 2017

LIVE FROM THE GET IN!  

Written by Robert Crighton

Performed by Abbie Broom, Heidi Bernhard-Bubb, Robert Crighton & Michael Fouldes.  And maybe some special guests.

Live from... is a radio comedy and sketch show – live from in front of the set of whichever show is getting in the following week at the Quay Theatre.  New material, sketches and monologues streamed live online.  

The Saturday 4^th March show is currently in the edit.

The UN Special Representative
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Mr BEEP BEEP is having a trying day.  He was awoken at three in the morning by a team of 'experts' from the UN, because an event on the other side of the world threatens to change his life forever.  However, the letters U and N do not stand for the United Nations, and his crisis is more existential than actual.

I've been toying with this idea for a story for years and am finally ready to finish it.  I don't know whether I will record this in the studio or in front of an audience, it depends what sorry of funny it ends up being.
Release Date: TBA

Prevent
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: TBA

A follow up play to the award-winning Fantasy Terrorist League, Prevent tells the story of a young man trapped in a flawed system that criminalises thought, and where the gap between real and perceived threats is not acknowledged.
Release Date: TBA

Investigate Me?
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: TBA

'Why aren't you investigating me?'  A twisted version of a police drama, where a member of the public insists on being investigated for possible criminal acts.  The young DC doesn't want to be wasting her time with him, but even her superiors insist on an investigation.  Surreal drama.
Release Date:  TBA

Commentary
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: TBA

A new play about the different interpretations of the making of a film, as made during an audio commentary for a DVD release.

Release Date:  TBA

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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Hang - about time too!

And, at last, Hang is available to listen for free online.  It was recorded ages ago, released as a download, and now I'm biting the bullet and just putting it out for free.  It's a shame to hide it behind a paywall and you could always become a patron if you feel you want to contribute.

Hang - A Comedy by Robert Crighton

The world is turning inside out - people are starting to turn into animals and no one knows what's normal anymore.  Even the man who wants to be a zebra can't quite fit into this brave new world.

Live Streamed on Monday 31st March 2014 at the Quay Theatre

Starring Robert Crighton,  Pamela Flanagan & Gillian Horgan

Sound Recording: Peter Morris

Post Production: Robert Crighton

Original Live Stream: Tim Regester

Online Comments from the Live Stream: “... it really stands out as something effecting the times we live in...  This is really well acted. I like the style and the humour is right up my street - and I live on really funny street...”

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

Or if you prefer it as a video on YouTube - here you go!



And the original trailer for the show - which is very silly, but fun.

New People Wanted

Hello Lovely People!
Live from the Get In! prep continues apace.  This second show is all ghostly - so I'm hoping you all dress up in your finest Halloween gear, though, let me make this clear, no scary clowns.  They are not allowed.  So, silly costumes please.  Especially as, at only an hour, you can still go out to a good party if you so wish.

Anyway, Live from the Get In! has been renewed for further shows next year - woohoo - and I'm looking for new comics to join us.  I want to find new local comics from the Sudbury area and beyond for next year.  If you think you’re funny, write your own material, or want to perform someone else’s, then I want to hear from you.  It won’t be a turn up, open mic show, the event will be curated and I want to help emerging comics hone their craft and make sure the audience get the laughs for their bucks.

Anyone interested in performing on the show next year can contact me at contact@milkbottleproductions.co.uk or see me after the next show, this Saturday night.

Milk Bottle Productions Presents...
LIVE FROM THE GET IN! 

COMEDY GHOST NIGHT

An hour of radio comedy and sketches with a Halloween Theme

Ghost’s are funny, especially because all they do is play dress up in sheets and creak the odd floorboard. New material, sketches and monologues – it’s an hour of laughter, curated by award-winning writer and performer Robert Crighton and streamed live as a radio show from the auditorium of the Quay Theatre.

Tickets £5

Saturday 29th October at 7.30pm

Box Office: 01787 374 745 

Or book online at www.quaysudbury.com
Live audio streaming on the night can be heard at www.ustream.tv/channel/robert-crighton-storyteller


My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

Live from the Get In

Next week, I'm launching the first of (hopefully) a regular series of comedy nights from the Quay Theatre in Sudbury - live streamed on the internet.
LIVE FROM THE GET IN!  THE IMAGINATIVELY TITLED FIRST SHOW
is over an hour of radio comedy and sketches – live from in front of the set of whichever show is getting in the following week at the Quay Theatre with a wonderful cast.  New material, sketches and monologues – it’s an hour of laughter, curated by me and streamed live online.
Tickets are available for the live show at www.quaysudbury.com
And the live stream can be heard on the night here -
www.ustream.tv/channel/robert-crighton-storyteller
Saturday 3^rd September at 7.30pm GMT  

This show couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

What is the show going to be?  Well, it's a comedy show - so I'm aiming for it to be funny.  The last couple of days a theme has emerged - so the sketches are mostly about what our world is really like.  There's a return of the Museum of Tat, as a live event, the latest news from a very odd committee meeting and the future of health in a privatised world.  I don't want to say more, because then I kill the comedy.  There are also at least three incredibly bad jokes.  Fully awful jokes.

Even though I've had several rehearsals, I keep forgetting to take any photos - so here's the fantastic cast for the show mostly in words...

Abbie Broom -
Abbie is talented local performer, who I have regularly planned world domination with.  So, she's joining us in a sketch about a village hall committee meeting.

Heidi Bernhard-Bubb -
Heidi recently played the prospective father in law of my daughter in The Tempest.  Heidi is playing Professor Fidelis Graeber, our guest speaker for the first live performance of The Museum of Tat.

Gillian Horgan -
Gillian has returned to Milk Bottle after appearing as a duck and other animals in the last comedy show, Hang. She is performing various parts for the show, including the internationally performed monologue Sleep Inc. 
Gillian is from Cork, and trained at Drama Studio London.
Theatre credits include: the one-woman show #nofilter at The Bread & Roses Theatre, The Conservatory at The Bread & Roses Theatre, Storyteller: The Natural History of Trolls at The New Wimbledon Studio, No Dogs at The White Bear, Susanna at Theatro Technis, Tilt at The Cockpit Theatre, Famine at The Old Red Lion Theatre, and Monsieur Venus at the Theatre Royal Haymarket. Screen credits include: The Wives Did It, Persona Non Grata, The Inner Life of Veronica, Wounded, Three, Forget-Me-Not, Camden Calling, Verge, and Black Coffee. Radio credits include: Hang.

Sîan Notley -
Sîan has performed in countless shows (not actually countless, I just will never count them) including a number of readings of early English drama I've produced over the years.  So, I've cast her as pie maker extraordinary Tyb.  Her husband in the scene is played by...

Mark Jenner -
An actor who has also appeared in many shows, possibly also countless.  I've directed them a few times as well, together or separately.  Mark is playing John and spends a lot of time playing with candles in a suggestive way - which will work brilliantly on radio.

Michael Fouldes -
Michael isn't in the show because of a prior commitment that he'd forgotten about.  But as he's part of the double act that is The Museum of Tat, I thought you should see a photo the meeting we had about the show before his wife pointed out he was doing something else that night. He's almost apologetic in the photo, before the fact.  He will be performing in the next live show.

Realising a Metal Harvest

Concept artwork for the original,
unrealised production

After the chaos of so many shows last year, this year has so far been quite straightforward.  A few productions, one a revival, and mostly I'm editing and shaping work, not actively writing.  But even so, I'm mostly reacting to events, putting shows together at the last minute (i.e. with a few months notice) rather than properly planning ahead.  There was a time when I planned 18 months ahead (even if not everything happened as planned - see the Seldom plan in posts ad passum) and could get my ducks properly in a row.  Here starts the planning.

One of the shows I didn't do last year was titled Metal Harvest and I was gutted that it fell by the wayside - it's a simple show in many ways, but it's a bitch to get right.  It's a storytelling/character/music piece about the life cycle of a shell from the First World War.  I was going to be performing it on the 100th anniversary of Britain entering the war, but it makes more sense to be doing it a hundred years after 1915 - an hundred years after the shell crisis and big changes to how munitions were created.  All sounds a bit dry, but the shell is a pretext to tell the stories of those who handle it.
And then there's the music.  On Wednesday I had a meeting with Richard Fawcett, who's composing and arranging the score (as well as playing a mean fiddle), and I'm glad to report the show is on - and it's already sounding really, really good.  We've worked together on music for a couple of shows now - the last being for The Passion which would have been a completely different show without the musical interplay.  We've been talking about this show for almost eighteen months now and for the first time I've been able to present him with an outline text, so that his musically ideas can now fill gaps between scenes, create physical sections, create atmospheres and push me to create new words.  To say I left feeling fairly buzzed would be an understatement.
I then walked down the road to the Quay Theatre and pitched the show to the coordinator and we have a date for a first performance penciled in (subject to fate etc.)  I'm hoping to run a limited tour after this first show, taking in some of the venues I've toured with Everyman, as well as any other places that come our way.  I'd also like to fully document the show, video and audio, so that it has more of an afterlife.

At the same time as rehearsing this show, I'll be finishing off work on the Chester Mystery Plays for my Before Shakespeare project - and hopefully doing some writing.  I've also got some work for another company, but that's not creative per se, so doesn't eat into my time in the same way.

That covers 2015 - now to sort out 2016 - but I can't do that till I see how well the Everyman tour goes.

Student Tryout

On Friday I did wend my merry way to the University of Essex to perform The Summoning of Everyman for some first years.  This is the second time I've done this and was a great way for me to tryout the show before the tour starts in earnest.  Here is a video of my time there...


"Really interesting and clever take on this play, that I first had hated!" *

[*All quotes are feedback from the students after the performances.]
I performed the show twice and generally talked about the play between times, so it was a full on few hours.  It was useful in two ways.
1. I remembered how to work the show, because it's all about contact with the audience and that's really hard to rehearse in advance.
2. I could test out some of my newer ideas about staging.  Some of which worked, some didn't.

"Intense and insightful, a true reckoning."

A student audience isn't the same as a regular audience - they are there to learn, as part of their course, as the play is one they are studying.  They are not necessarily there to enjoy themselves and therefore my job as performer is harder.  I had to draw them into the play - when the absurdity of what I am trying to do is at its most apparent.  Here we are, in a relatively clinical performance space, with few props / lighting or setting to create mood.  I then start pretending to be, not just one person, but many - using different voices and actions.  It is less about the suspension of disbelief, more the suspension of the absurd.

"Really creative production that makes difficult language incredibly accessible."

Sometimes the show worked well, the connection with some of the audience was clear and strong - sometimes I felt a fool, as others looked away, or were generally not connecting at all.  By the second performance I was tired and made a few simple mistakes that were not coverable.  You expect to go wrong occasionally, but it's easy enough to save.  But I moved someone into the wrong place and started talking to the wrong person.  It is not a mistake I will make again.  But that's why we do tryouts.

"I loved the audience participation!"

There is another dynamic in play - these are drama students, so unlike the regular audience they will all (by and large) want to perform more than watch.  It is usually the opposite for civilians.  So there isn't the same focus born of fear, there isn't the same anticipation and worry about what happens next.  Also, those who weren't chosen to be actively involved seemed less attentive - perhaps disappointed not to be one of those getting up and about.  Again, I suspect with a regular audience this is not the case.  This also changed the dynamic of the room - because inattention is contagious.

"I understand it better."

I was testing out a new lighting arrangement - which palpably didn't work in that space.  That's going to change between now and the tour.  I also had a brainwave at the beginning of the piece that I might put in.  What did work very well was the enforced silence for the audience before the show began.  As people entered they were asked not to speak and follow certain tasks.  It was commented that I was like a priest with his congregation - which is has positive and negative sides.
I didn't use any music to open the show - though I plan there to be something for when I start the show on tour.  The event lives and dies on the atmosphere and the commitment of the audience.  What I do with them and the text then becomes greater than the sum of their parts.

"Perhaps a little more physicality would make it more visual."

I'm caught in a double bind regarding physicality with this show.  If I do too much then I'm spinning on a sixpence, jumping from one attitude to another like a nervous tick.  I didn't get the balance right for these performances, and that's where I'm focusing work over the next few days.  Not bigger, but clearer.  And I need to clearly plot my eye contact, I got a bit lazy in some places.

All in all, it was a good first stab at the show - on Thursday I'm doing a home performance of the play - and I'm looking forward to seeing what new things happen then.  Full details will follow.  But for now - here are all the Good and Bad Deeds I collected on Friday from the students.  Mostly they are generic things - I didn't make it clear that I wanted something specific from their lives - but some are telling.

Bad Deeds:  A preponderance of lying and cheating, plus laziness and a clear confession to the consumption of illegal substances confirms these are students.

Hurting others / Hurting or hunting (not quite clear)
Adultery / Committing Adultery
Cheating x3
Lying x3
Murder / Killing
Rape
Sexism
Stealing x2 / Theft
Vandalism
Drinking in excess
Laughing at others / Making others feel bad
Quarreling without purpose
Ignorance to those around you
I have consumed illegal substances (a student? really?)
Lazyiness (sic)
Frord (sic - presumably Fraud.  Bless.)

Good Deeds:  Always less amusing and more worthy, by the nature of things.  A lot of focus is on outward demonstrations - caring for people, giving money, as well as support.  A few are more internal, largely about combating selfishness - which is reassuring when so much of our culture is about self.

Caring for - someone who is unwell / others
Being kind to others
Being polite
Helping X2
Love thy neighbour / loving the people around you
Charity / Sharing what you have / Helping others in need / Helping others / Helping someone out financially / To help those less fortunate than yourself
Give money to a homeless man / Helping the homeless / Giving money to the homeless
Being there for someone
Thy to help others and focus less on your "self needs" / I have put others before myself  / Selflessness
Being honest
Listening
Embracing a persons imperfections
Making someone / making other people / making people - smile : ) / Cheering up a friend
Helping a person with the stairs

Everyman Daily Report: 2

Today I focused on the second quarter of the play - where Everyman asks for someone to go with him on his journey to death.  There are three/four characters he encounters - Fellowship (his friends), Kindred & Cousin (his relations) who are two people in the original, but combined into one in this version, and finally his Goods (his worldly possessions).  These are all external elements of his life, people or things outside of his person, who he is deluded into thinking he can take with him.  These rejections prepare us for the second set of delusions in the second half of the play, where he hopes to go to the other side with all his faculties - his senses, strength, reasoning and beauty.  But that's future.  Today, just externals.
As external characters they are mostly straightforward - your friends and relations are real people and (though generalised) are not abstract.  They tend to talk to you - so the dialogue is natural, fast, flowing - even funny.  Your Goods don't tend to talk to you - but the character of wealth is straightforward, deliciously slimy and evil.  To relearn this lines - or at least reacquiant myself with them - is great fun.  I don't think I made as much progress with the retention of lines as I did yesterday, but some solid groundwork was done.
In fact, I was surprised how much of what I went over yesterday had stuck - I briefly ran over my lines as I went for a walk this afternoon - here is a pointless video of the opening speech.

Tomorrow I'm out and about all day, looking at venues and sorting out the last paperwork for the tour dates (see blog post below) so I'm going to focus my spare time into going over the line learning and text work of yesterday and today.  If I can be fully books down on the first half at the end of the week - confident and strong on words - then real work can happen next week.  Huzzah!

The Milk Bottle Newsletter - Spring 2014

Please, forward this email onto any friends who might be interested in listening these shows - they're either free and streamed online so anyone in the world can listen or Pay-What-You-Want.  Pass on the love, help make these shows something special...  


Only a few weeks to go before the next project of Project 10/52 is complete - the second of our trilogy of plays to celebrate 450 years of Shakespeare - The Shakespeare Delusion.  It's performing at the Quay Theatre in Suffolk, as well as at the LOST One-Act Festival in London - not only that, it's streaming live online - with a bit of luck video as well as audio, but don't hold your breath on that one!  And if that wasn't enough Shakespeare for you, Robert is starting a regular Friday radio show The Milk Bottle Radio Show with a reading of Venus and Adonis, the classic narrative poem by the bard.  That'll be available for a month after the live broadcast - so don't worry if you can't catch it live.

The Milk Bottle Radio Show
Broadcasting Friday 9th May at 3.30pm. 
The Milk Bottle Radio Show features the storytelling talents of Robert Crighton as he performs his own stories and classic works. Starting on Friday 9th May with a live performance of Venus and Adonis by William Shakespeare.
To listen on the day - or anytime for one month after go to www.ustream.tv/channel/robert-crighton-storyteller

The Shakespeare Delusion

Written and Performed by Robert Crighton

Professor Ashborn invites you to share in his latest discoveries and lead you through the terrible secrets behind the man people call Shakespeare.  Did he really write the plays?  Was he really bald?  Did he like cheese?  Using recently uncovered documentation Professor Ashborn can finally tell the true and completely true, truly true, utterly true, true story of the Shakespeare delusion!

Performing at the Quay Theatre on Monday 26^th May at 7.30pm
Box Office: 01787 374 745
Or book online by clicking here.
To listen to the Live Stream on the night go to www.ustream.tv/channel/robert-crighton-storyteller
Also performing at the LOST One-Act Festival on Wednesday 28th May at 7.30pm - tickets available here.

In other news - the audio download for Hang isn't quite ready yet, but the script is available to buy now at the Milk Bottle lulu shop.  

Coming up later in the year...

Complicated Pleasures

An All New Comedy by Robert Crighton

Matthew has won the lottery, so he dumps his girlfriend because “he can do better”.  She rebounds on a single parent whose child is blackmailing him for lollipops.  Set in a not too distant future, this is a hilarious sex comedy about messy relationships, the balance of power between the sexes and the consequences of not giving a child a lollipop.

Performing at the Quay Theatre on Monday 21^st July at 7.30pm
Box Office: 01787 374 745

And finally, early news on the final project - or is that the first project of 10/52?  On the 31st December 2014 we're planning a big New Years Eve bash.  It's probably going to be based on The Trolls Trilogy (which can be heard online here) but it isn't going to be a straight performance of the stories.  It's going to be a mad, silly, funny (occasionally moving) evening of entertainment and so has a working title of GETTING TROLLIED.  Though Milk Bottle will encourage guests to drink responsibly.  
Tickets are not on sale yet (like all shows it will be Pay-What-You-What) so if you want to be put on the pre-sale guest list then email us now with a name and numbers.  It's not too early to plan where you'll be this New Years Eve.

The Cast of Hang

With a little over a week to go, some news on the lovely cast of Hang.  It obviously includes me, but that's a given, but also these two talented actresses.

Pamela Flanagan

Pamela hails from Dublin and came to London to attend the Academy Drama School. Since graduating she has toured extensively through the UK and Europe. Theatre roles include: Landlady in Two, Octavia in Anthony and Cleopatra, Nancy in Dance Hall Days and Pegeen Mike in The Playboy of the Western World. She previously worked with Milk Bottle Productions on The Natural History of Trolls. 
http://www.spotlight.com/4857-8979-9879

Of course, that's just the official stuff.  I first consciously met the delightful Pamela backstage at a production I had a little finger of involvement in a few years back, The Revengers.  As it happens I had probably met her before at a production of Othello I'd been in, which she recently reminded me she had seen.  But we first worked together on The Natural History of Trolls - Pamela being one of the principle voices who did all of the shows at the New Wimbledon Studio.  In fact, due to her ability to say the word 'fuzzy' in a particularly amusing way, I rewrote the script slightly in her honour.  Pamela will be principally playing the part of Amanda, who has a difficult relationship with her tusks.

Gillian Horgan

Gillian Horgan is from Cork, and trained at Drama Studio London. Theatre credits include: “The Inner Life of Veronika Zabenko”, "The Natural History of Trolls” at the New Wimbledon Studio, “No Dogs” at the White Bear, “Susanna” at Theatro Technis, "Tilt" at the Cockpit Theatre, "Famine" at the Old Red Lion, and "Monsieur Venus" at the Theatre Royal Haymarket. Screen credits include: “Wounded”, "Three", “Forget-Me-Not”, “Camden Calling”, "Verge", "Black Coffee" and "The Boat That Rocked".
www.spotlight.com/0453-5640-3265

The fabulous Gillian is another survivor of The Natural History of Trolls from its original production at the New Wimbledon Studio.  Gillian will be playing a number of roles, including a media spin doctor, trying to spin the end of civilisation as we know it.  In a piece of worthless trivia, Gillian is responsible for bringing to my attention one of the odder search items that anyone has typed into google to then discover my blog.  Having come from Cork and acted in a show called No Dogs, some poor soul who typed '1 day old dogs in cork' came whizzing to my cast blog post for a show about orange penguins.  Could be worse, one ex-cast member of that same production shares their name with a performer of hard-core pornography.

Milk Bottle Productions Presents...
HANG
World Premiere of a New Comedy by Robert Crighton

The world is turning inside out - people are starting to turn into animals and no one knows what's normal anymore.  Even the man who actually wants to be a zebra can't quite fit into this brave new world.  Dating is complicated enough when everyone's human.

Performing as a radio comedy before a live audience and broadcasting online as a live stream.
To listen to the Live Stream on the night go to
www.ustream.tv/channel/robert-crighton-storyteller

Watch the hilarious trailer for the show here.

Performing Live and Online on Monday 31st March at 7.30pm
Tickets: Pay What You Want
There are only twenty-five tickets available for this one-off show - so book now.  
The Quay Theatre, Quay Lane, Sudbury, CO10 2AN
Box Office: 01787 374 745 or online here.

Robin Thicke, Lily Allen and a Zebra...

All walk into a bar.  The barman asks, "why the long face?"  The Zebra replies, "because they've both been criticised for the creation of inappropriate images/music, so the round's on me".
Okay, this story is quite old now, but I bring it up in relation to publicity - the dangers thereof.  I was planning a few photos the other week for my next show Hang.  I was to stand, dressed in my fetching zebra onesie, holding up a protest slogan - the play is partly about a man called Brian who wants to be a zebra and is persecuted for it.  It is, to some degree, a satire, a political drama, a think piece.  It is also hopefully funny.
But as I thought about the implications of this image I started to come a bit unstuck.  In the play there is a logic to Brian's protest.  It is both funny and entirely serious.  It is and it isn't a parallel to other civil rights protests.  In the context of the play this relationship between the serious and absurd should be clear - it should not be misunderstood.  Out of context then things look quite different.
So, I thought I'd do a shoot of Brian protesting, but then I thought this might be trouble.  I was going to have him holding a placard with a slogan - but what?  I wrote out a few and did a rough shoot to try them out - more for this blog than for actually publicity.  Here are two of the test photos.
Number 1.  "I am normal and I want my freedom."
This is a quote from the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band.  It is a generic cry for non-conformity.  It is safe.

Number 2.  Some People are Zebras - Get Over It.  This is a spoof of a famous gay slogan campaigning for equal rights.  In the context of the play this would be alright.  As a separate image it says, "Being Gay is as absurd as wanting to be a zebra".  This is not what the play is about and I would be distressed if this is what people took from it.  It is not acceptable, it would never be used (except as illustration for the argument of this blog post).

So what has all this to do with Robin Thicke and Lily Allen?  Well, back in the mists of 2013 Robin Thicke produced an enormously successful song Blurred Lines which was widely judged to be 'a bit rapey'.  The lyrics and the cavorting naked ladies in the video were deemed misogynistic.  His defence for the video was that the director of the video was a woman and the naked ladies thought it was fine, so what was the problem?
Ironically Lily Allen then put out a video for a song critical of exactly what Robin Thicke represented, but in a shot in her video she had a number of black ladies twerking behind her.  This was deemed by some to be slightly racist.  Her defence for the video was that the dancers were fine with it, so what was the problem?  The Robin Thicke defence, as it were.
The problem is, of course, obvious.  It doesn't matter what you think is fine in the context of a rehearsal, a play or when recording a music video - once that image, play or video enters the public sphere, I will be interpreted in its own context, the context of the world around.  The reason why I haven't used the above ideas for actual publicity photos is because their meaning outside of the play is fluid and so can come to mean something very, very different.  Even within the context of the play Hang there is room for misunderstanding of the message of the play.  Audiences do not always understand the difference between what characters say and what the play is saying - confusing, for example, the presence of a racist (sexist/zebrist etc) character on stage and the play being racist (sexist/zebrist etc).  But that's a totally different problem to ensuring clarity in your messages to the media.
This is one of the reasons why people come a cropper with social media - they don't appreciate the number of interpretations a statement or image can have when decontextualised.  We have all (those who use social media) at some point found a lighthearted comment be interpreted as an attack.  This is why lol was invented - to explain to the reader that something is a joke.  Lol is context.  Lol is sometimes vital.  But I can hardly put lol next to my photos - that would just make matters worse.
So, instead, a silly trailer.  I like my trailer - it's fun, it's silly and I don't think you can misinterpret it.
Lol.

Watching watching...

I wrote this post over a week ago and decided not to post it until after the show...

Right, so, yeah... it's a little over a week till Project Two: You Have Been Watching goes up... I'm working on the last material for the show.  That goes to the company tomorrow.  The last pieces before we go into endgame.  There is some sense of wood/trees going on in my head at the moment.  I've props on order that are yet to arrive, I've technology I need to get working and I still don't quite know where everything goes.
This isn't anything to worry about - especially to everyone who's coming to the show - hi! - because there is a week and I'm not lost or anything.  I just don't one hundred percent know what I'm doing.
This is an interesting feeling.  Most of the time I have a very clear idea what I'm doing.  Even when I first started to create theatre over a decade ago I instinctively got it.  Didn't mean I got it right, but I got it.  You move here to do this so that that can happen over there - simple.
I'm creating an art installation.  With volunteers.  In a very small space.  On no budget.  I don't know whether what I'm doing is horribly cliched or not.  I suspect part of it is.  I don't know.  It's not quite my field.
The reason why I'm doing this is partly because it isn't.  I know how to do plays.  I'm (dare I say it) a bit bored of directing them because I largely know how it's done now.  Acting, that's different, that's just fun.   Even as a writer, I'm starting to chafe at the boundaries of my medium and my own tropes.  There are still different plays to be written, but I'm starting to find that I don't want to just create narrative anymore.
So, something different.  Something more art orientated.  Something possibly shit.  Because I don't quite know what I'm doing yet.  Yet.  I'll figure it out.
Probably.

Watching in Overalls

A few more photos from rehearsals of You Have Been Watching.  Do not think of giant human condoms.

Watching Over You

Continuing my (almost) weekly expansion of the work I'm doing next year, we're onto Project Two of Project 10/52 - You Have Been Watching.

Now, unlike Project One, (see below - as opposed to in a book, above) which is developed to a reasonable degree, Project Two (YHBW) is positively unprepared.  If Project One is six months pregnant, Project Two is barely picking up it's clothing, wondering how much it drank last night and trying to remember if it used protection.

Okay, I exaggerate for effect - YHBW is not completely unprepared.  I haven't just plucked a title out of the air and hoped for the best (though I do have form in this regard - it is not uncommon for people to ask me if I've written the show yet just before curtain up).  I want to explore surveillance culture, the modern world of electronic everything and I have some material to start from.  I started a monologue many years ago about someone trying to live off grid.  Unobserved, undatabased.  Or undatadebased.  As it were.  This material will be the starting point, but it may get jettisoned.  I want to spend the four/five/six weeks rehearsal time developing material, working with people to collect data and ideas.  I want to identify every single camera in the local area and will ask people to help me do that.  I want to find other stories, other angles to the way technology effects us.  How a new generation is changing/is changed by the new ways of communicating.
It may not end up as a play.  Hence the probability that I will jettison past material.  I see it as an installation, a series of images, actions, discussions... half formed ideas are battling for control of the project as I type.
I know also what I don't want it to be.  There are many cliches and obvious routes that do not need to be trod.  I don't want it to be a straightforward technology bad, technology good debate.  That would be tedious.
I will need help from the audience to make this happen as well.  I want every audience member to document the show, to use their camera phones to film it, take images of it etc and post them online.  These files will then be available to anyone who wants to use them - I intend to create a video version of the show out of the recordings.  That way there isn't one version of the project, there are, if not an infinite then, a very large finite number of versions, depending on how you wish to view the material.
I'm hoping that most people will have their own cameras, but I will be supplying a number of small cameras for use in the show.  You are the camera, you are the director, you are the show.
That's sort of the idea, at this distant stage.

Casting for The BIG Project

This blog post was first put out before 'The BIG Project' was revealed on 8th September 2013.  I haven't updated it much, deliberately leaving it fixed in the past.  However, full details of what was revealed at the launch can be found here and the casting process below is still in place.  Do get in touch - either by email contact@milkbottleproductions.co.uk or Twitter me @RobertCrighton



Actors / Artists / Collaborators Wanted:

PROJECT 10/52

Milk Bottle Productions 2014

Next year will be a big year for Milk Bottle with lots of shows wanting actors, as well as more vaguely defined people, to collaborate with, to help make new and exciting shows... The work is sporadic, so, though fee paying, is not going to get anyone rich, but that means it should fit round other work commitments.

There’s no rush – I’m looking to cast as I go along and there are still many months to go before the first show will even start rehearsal.  I can’t even tell you about the shows themselves until the official launch on Sunday 8^th September – so, as I say, no rush.  [Actually, I can, follow this link!]

So, here’s how getting involved in what is currently known as The BIG Project.

Stage 1. Interest.  Now onwards...

Send me a general expression of interest and a CV.  I’m not interested in a photo, your physical appearance is of divine disinterest to me.  If I already know you and your work then just express an interest, we’ll go from there.  Just email me at contact@milkbottleproductions.co.uk

Stage 2.  Saying: ‘Hello!’  September onwards...

I need people I can work with – who I click with artistically.  So, rather than start with auditions, I’ll start with a meeting and coffee.  I want people who will respond and create, as well as performers who can do what I ask them to do.

Stage 3.  Auditions – Online and live.  November onwards...

By this stage there will be scripts and words and images and stuff which we can throw around.  Ideally I’d like to see online submissions on video before going to live auditions – though if you can’t make any of the live audition dates I will take your online audition as gospel.  I have cast people this way before.

Obviously, until I announce what I’m doing on Sunday 8th September at 1pm GMT (live andonline), you won’t know if this is something you want to be involved in.  But you can always say ‘Hello’ anyway.  It’s nice saying ‘Hello’.

Regards,

Robert Crighton

Teaching Gods & Bink! Audiobook Trailer

Coming soon to Milk Bottle Audio...
Teaching Gods & Bink! 
by Robert Crighton
Performed by Cat LaCohie and Robert Crighton

BINK!
Performed by Cat LaCohie
Molly was left alone a lot. Her parents were always out. So she started talking to herself, to the furniture, to the house. And then the house answered back. A children’s story... just not for children.

Teaching Gods
Performed by Robert Crighton
Winner of the “Best Writing” Award at the Lost Theatre One-Act Festival 2007
The Gods have invaded the University. All thoughts of normal academic life disappear as the campus dissolves into chaos. The flowers walk and the squirrels clean kitchens. Will the agents of chaos win against the hardnosed grey suited form of the Vice Chancellor? What do you think?

listen to ‘Teaching Gods & Bink! Trailer’ on Audioboo

Recording 'The Project After'

The Project After - discussed below - can be heard here.

"Just got back from recording 'The Project After' with Frequency Theatre. Fucking knackered..." was the less than subtle post I made last night about a little trip to Colchester.  For those new to me, and those who know this blog well but have not been paying attention (quiet at the back there), here's some background.
The Project After was a play I wrote as part of a series of short plays now collectively known as The Fantasy Terrorist Variations which has been quietly growing over the past decade or so.  The Project After is the latest performed addition (technically Variation 3) and was premiered at the Barons Court Theatre last November.  It is a tricksy little play, designed to provoke thought and unease among'st those watching (or very soon, listening).  The run at Barons Court was well received but shorter than planned and seen by few people, so it's still in the category of 'unfinished business' and ripe for revival.
Frequency Theatre is an online audio play producer, based in Colchester.  I've done a few recordings with them over the last year and passed on the script, which they liked very much.  So, I got cheeky and asked if I could be in the play as well.  They said yes.
The studio is based in an arts project called Slack Space, utilising the slack space (hence the name) in an unused retail outlet - I believe the old co-op store.  So, off I toddled and met up with Bethany Sharp-McLeod the director and Tom Edwards my fellow actor.  I was determined to not talk too much, not to impose myself and make it difficult for the director to do her job.  I think I got the balance reasonably right, I wasn't not going to talk about my play and the ideas within it, but then again I could be deluding myself and Beth wanted me to die for not shutting up.  I did have a coffee before hand (which I really shouldn't have), so I might have been a bit high.
Anyway, we chatted about the play, read it twice and chatted some more.  We were all pretty much on the same wavelength, no one was missing the point of the play, I was very happy.
Then we stood up in front of mics and actually did it.  And fuck me, to quote myself, it was exhausting.  It's twenty plus minutes of two people having a bit of a go at each other and my legs were shaking after just a few minutes into the first take - which was a straight run through.  When I directed it for London I don't recall the cast complaining about exhaustion - maybe I wasn't listening?  But then again, if by the end you aren't drained, have you really given it your best?  Discuss.
The problem for me was trying to get the old show out of my head - both in the sense I didn't want to play my character Mark as Keith Hill did (you're not getting royalties if I did) and in the sense that the pauses and flow of the dialogue was different because different actors find different rhythms.  It helped that Beth gave me many slightly different directions for certain lines; I couldn't do it the way Keith did it before, I had been told to do it differently.  Which was useful.
We (well I) crawled out after the recording well after 10 o'clock and made my way home.  I stopped briefly in a pub for a swift one and sat in a comfy armchair and tried to switch off.  Shouldn't have had the coffee.  Shouldn't really have had the beer.  But I'm glad I did.  In the background Elvis was playing.  A gentle refrain, to which I quietly hummed along.  And then it hit me that it was a perfect song to go in a play I'm planning to do next year.  Out came the notebook.
So, regardless of how the recording comes out (and it comes out on Friday, free online) I'm delighted to have done it - because if I hadn't come to Colchester and done the play and felt so knackered I needed a sit down, I wouldn't have been reminded of the music that changed the whole direction of a play that hopefully you'll get to see next year... something something something the House that Jack Built.