Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Less is more...

As regular readers of my blog will know, I've been spending a little time looking into way people read my blog; analysing the stats, reviewing the data, crying into my keyboard as my ego is burst like the water filled balloon of delusion it is.  The conclusion was: many people are viewing this blog on a misguided hunt for porn or someone to have an affair with.  No one has messaged me for requests, but their searches show it to be true.  So, I thought I'd ease off the blogging for a bit, regroup, think out a strategy.  And, having posted only an update of news and the applications for this years Storyteller run (re-christened the Storyteller Christmas Festival) I haven't done much.  And low and behold, the fewer posts I make, the more people visit my blog.  I'm almost at a record level of views this month and we're only just past the half way mark.  So, the only logical thing to do is not post anything and I'll bring down the internet through the mass of traffic swarming to view what I haven't written this week.
Backstage in AWONI
Joking aside (and I should point out, as tone online can be deceptive, I am mostly joshing) I haven't posted much because I've been in a show, am directing a show, am about to direct another show... none of which are strictly speaking relevant to this blog as they are outside my storytelling/milk bottle universe.  I was in a production of A Woman of No Importance by Oscar Wilde early March, but it was a small role, so I spent a fair amount of my time backstage writing my new play Complicated Pleasures, which is really coming along.  I came up with a particularly evil plot twist that week of writing, so it was all time well spent.
Normally I get very little done when I'm in a play.  If I look back at my notebooks to check the facts of my memories of a show and I find great gaps - which is a little sad as these are times that are usually a wealth of stories flying about.  Whilst I tend to be quite open and chatty backstage I don't find I'm in a position to do anything work wise other than focus on the job in hand.  I can't read a book, do crosswords or any other activity even if it's a slow show, I have to focus on the part.  It was only thanks to the fact that I was basically done with after Act One that gave me the chance to get out the notebook and write - which meant I wasn't the least bit open and chatty at all.  Can't win em all.
In fact I was so absent from the production after my Act One gambit I didn't even notice the fact that one of the cast fainted in Act Two.  Fell with beautiful grace apparently.  Little things like that do make a show, I find; nothing gets everyone rooting for you like the collapse of scenery, the disintegration of a prop or the call for a doctor in the house.  It wasn't the first casualty of the show, we'd lost one cast member on the dress rehearsal due to illness - the director was able to step in.
The great thing about being in production that is not your own is that you can sit back and analyse how the text works without the consequences.  I spent some of the breaks in rehearsal creating different versions of the play, cutting characters and scenes and seeing what happened.  So, what lessons can a playwright learn from A Woman of No Importance?  To be referred to now and forever as AWONI.  (I'm not going to precis the play for you, or do anything to help those who don't know the play with understanding what follows - if you don't know the plays of Oscar Wilde please, bugger off to Wikipedia and come back later.  Or better yet, read the plays.  Or even better yet, watch them, they are rather good - though, as I'm about to detail, some are better than others.)
AWONI is a proper curates egg of a play.  It's a battleground for two plays in two different genres, one a social comedy, another a melodrama, in which neither side can claim success because of the presence of the other.  Not that I'm knocking melodrama, I'm very fond of it, and with some edits I think the melodrama of the play is reasonably effective; it's the social comedy play that disappoints.  It lets the side down by being a testing ground for dialogue in Wilde's next two plays An Ideal Husband and The Importance of Being Earnest.  However good the dialogue would have sounded on opening night we know (as future people) it is inferior because it's retooled and shiny in the later plays.  His wit is aimed straighter and in a better context in the later plays, in AWONI exchanges come across as random passing shots; more a drive by shooting of wit than high powered rifle shots of killer lines.
Characters, lines and titles are re-used in later plays with abandon.  Mrs Allonby is re-tooled for use in An Ideal Husband as Mrs Cheveley and is all the better by being necessary to the plot.  In AWONI she is also needed as a temptress, but only dips her toes into the story of the melodrama.  Her role is stronger on the social comedy side of the play, though her lengthy speech in Act Two is enough to try anybodies patience.  Even the title of Wilde's next play is cribbed from her speech about an ideal husband.
Another flaw in the play is the philosophy, which comes across (primarily because it is) as misogynistic.  But casual misogyny has always been a safe bet to get laughs in a theatre and so it proved in both productions I've been in, whether in an ironic sense or not, who can tell?  It isn't just that the play is misogynistic, but that the biblical references, the philosophies of the mother and the father in opposition, come across as just what they are - the argument of the author.  He might as well walk on stage, turn to the front and speak his mind.  With trims and good playing these moments do pass reasonably well, but always beware of your argument showing.
The character of Lord Illingworth is in almost every play Wilde wrote, in one form or another, only in AWONI he is an out and out cad, whereas elsewhere he is witty, world weary, knowing and (occasionally) wise.  There are browny points to Wilde for putting onstage a character who might be the author, who speaks many of the most Wildean lines, and yet make him (by the end at any rate) a complete bastard, as well as father of one.  He suffers the most from lines-that-will-be-reused-better-in-later-plays syndrome, as well as lines-that-sound-a-bit-like-they're-funny-but-actually-aren't, they're-just-structured-like-jokes (and is proof that people will laugh at anything) syndrome.
However, these problems aside Lord Illingworth is a detailed and rather brilliant creation - a variation on a theme, perhaps, but a living one.  He spars to a purpose, his philosophy he lives by - he is no hypocrite.  The consistency of his character shows up the shallowness of Mrs Allonby, who is an inferior foil to counter so well forged a steel.  He contrasts better with the other well detailed character - or perhaps caricature would be fairer - of Lady Hunstanton.  Whilst she is a character of little weight and serves no function in the melodrama than as the go-between, she is the pivot which makes the social comedy work.  She never understands anything anybody says, and her attempts at discourse are beautifully upside down.  Around her, in the social comedy, orbits the Lady Bracknell in training, Lady Caroline, who has a hen pecked husband who takes a fair amount of flack but is fairly pointless, the air head Lady Stutfield (who thinks anything anybody says is very, very interesting - or some other suitably double barrelled and vacuous epithet) and other the other parts who pad out the scenes, who get smaller and smaller and less distinct as the play goes along.  Mr Kelvil is either a pompous do-gooder or a pompous hypocrite, depending how the scene is played (he either flirts with Lady Stutfield or she flirts at him and crashes against his pomposity like the sea against the cliff) and he spars nicely against Lord Illingworth, but he is just a brief sketch and not inherently funny, and so not quite in step with the comedy side of things.  Doctor Daubeny is a fantastic part, if only because he has a deliciously ill wife, who is described with increased relish as the play goes along like an ever dying Mrs Grundy.  It is the kind of joke that builds as the play goes along, every time someone turns to him we know he will describe another failing that she overcomes with cheerfulness and we know it will be even funnier than the last.  A tiny part, but beautifully drawn - and one of the few elements of the play not bettered when given to Lady Bracknell in The Importance of Being Earnest.  She too has an invalid spouse, though it is more an aside than a mine for humour.
There is other minor character called Lord Alfred, but he's so tiny and almost always cut that it isn't worth mentioning him above existance.
As the above sketches show, the problem with the play isn't that it doesn't entertain, or that there isn't much in it's favour, but that the cast and the audience will never get past the notion that the play is deeply flawed - it is enjoyment in despite of itself - as the two sides of the play battle each other; and it is a play where the battle is on paper deeply uneven.  The melodrama is a tight story of father, mother, son, son's love interest and a few people as go-between.  The social comedy is a sprawling selection of characters who flutter on and off and do pretty much nothing at all.  As such it's a play that must either be played as it stands with a cast of over a dozen or is hacked down to size.  You can remove the social comedy from the play and leave the melodrama, reducing the play to a 70 minute no interval piece of work with about 8 actors.  Or you can stick with the 14 or so needed in the original - but it does leave the supporting cast with a lot of free time, as the core of the play is carried by 4 people, with a few others to oil the wheels.
Let's look at the core characters:  Lord Illingworth we have met.  The melodrama is driven by his battle against Mrs Arbuthnot over who gets to control the destiny of their illegitimate son, Gerald.  Mrs Arbuthnot is, in melodramatic terms, a good woman who has fallen.  She is pure melodrama, unswerving from her position, utterly sure of her position, deeply ashamed of her past but proud of what it created.  She is, frankly, a bit much to take - partly because melodrama is, in theatrical terms, long gone (though alive and well on the big screen) but also because she refuses to take even one step into the social comedy side of the play.  If she were, even for a moment, really tempted to accept Lord Illingworth's position then she would step out from the 2D soft focus of melodrama and into the crueler 3D sharp focus of the social comedy, where an exaggerated realism exists.  The problem for the melodrama side of the play is that Lord Illingworth is too rounded a character.  He can be charming - for the first few acts most people will (despite his past actions) like him.  Only at the end does he show how black his heart is, when he coldly refers to her as his mistress and his son as his - unspoken word - bastard.  If he were a less likable man, more obviously a cad, then the melodrama would function better, but then the social comedy would fall apart.
The point to remember is that melodrama is not an inferior genre, it is just a different one.  It's about characters who believe, absolutely, in what they are doing, as they do it.  There is no doubt.  And when they change their minds it happens in a moment, and then there is still no doubt.  It moves action fast, in one direction and then, changes it, suddenly, to the surprise and delight of all.  The melodrama of AWONI has a few brilliant changes in direction - driven by the most melodramatic character of all.  Gerald.
Gerald, the son, is a character trapped in the amber of the melodrama.  Though he is occasionally onstage for scenes best labelled social comedy, he doesn't interact with the others.  The displays of wit and hypocrisy fly past his head like bullets, but he has no notion of the danger he is in and so never needs to duck.  His love of the woman Hester, a rich American, is, like him, simple and sincere; he is devoted to his mother and excited about becoming the secretary to Lord Illingworth, to becoming a man, to stop being a wooden puppet and becoming a human being.  He is painfully earnest.
But in his simplicity he becomes the powerful mover of the melodrama.  He cannot be told why he can't become Lord Illingworth's secretary, so he forces his mother to back down.  When his mother tells him the story of her fall, as of another, he turns around and defends the man (Lord Illingworth), unknowingly turning against his mother.  She again has to back down.  Every move he makes in Acts Two and Three are stabs her in the heart - and the audience enjoys such things, like watching Christians to the lions in emotional terms.  Then Hester is assaulted by Lord Illingworth and, to stop Gerald from attacking his Dad, Mrs Arbuthnot confesses that "He is your own father!"
Drop curtain.  The only problem with this sequence is that, just as The Merchant of Venice has never recovered from the Holocaust, AWONI has never recovered from Star Wars.  It isn't the plays fault that all many in the audience will be able to hear at this moment is the rasping voice of Darth Vader admitting paternity on poor one hand Luke, but it is a problem none the less.
In the final Act Gerald does another about face, ordering his mother to marry Lord Illingworth.  Again, he likes to put her through the ringer.  Mrs Arbuthnot is saved from this position by the intercession of Hester, the American, who I will now draw my attention to.
Hester is an orphaned American who is caught between the melodrama and the social comedy, but existing as a character purely in the melodrama.  She hates the hypocrisy of the ladies and berates them, but her weapon is a bludgeon to the ladies rapiers and not in keeping with that side of the play.  We know the women are hypocrites, we can see that, we don't need an American to tell us so and put herself on a pedestal in opposition.  She is a character that will be softened for An Ideal Husband as Lady Chiltern, but in that play she will have side, she will be tempted to do things differently, she will have, beneath her perfect exterior, a secret.  Hester has no depths beyond the surface, a melodramatic marionette whose only purpose is to hammer home the moral of the story and to be the focus of crisis for Gerald.  Whilst she achieves the first, she fails singularly with the second.
In theory there is a will-they won't-they romance between Gerald and Hester throughout the play which drives Gerald (a poor boy) to become Lord Illingworth's secretary and make his way in the world in opposition to his mother so that he has the social position and income to be worthy of her.  Unfortunately the success of the romance is never seriously in doubt and, more importantly, we don't care.  The romance of Gerald and Hester is understood and barely played on the stage, they do their wooing offstage, so that when the scandal of Gerald's paternity comes out we never really fear that it will change anything - and so it proves.  Hester's appearance in Act Four, demanding that they do the right thing and shun Lord Illingworth is completely in character and entirely to be expected.  Of course this dull, worthy, self righteous woman is going to side with the good people and not the bad, regardless of what they did in the past.  So, Gerald and Hester are spliced, Lord Illingworth rejected - in a final sparing match to show his bad grace at losing the battle over the son - and all is right with the world.  The play then ends with a paraphrase of the title, (the title proper already used to cringeworthy effect to close Act One of the play) and the audience gets to have a wry giggle to spur them to applause.
I've been in AWONI twice now and both times have played Mr Kelvil MP (not an ideal role, but I'm not quite young enough for Gerald or old enough for Lord Illingworth).  Kelvil is in Act One, does a nice little turn and then reappears in Act Three... to say one line.  As discussed earlier, there are a number of similar turns in the play, some of which are even briefer than Kelvil.  Such extravagances, who add little or nothing to design or plot, are a major thread of pointlessness that irritates about the play.  Earnest does not have them, unless you include the servants, and Ideal has only a few, some of whom are cutable.  But it feels at it's greatest imbalance in AWONI.  It is clear that the needs of the company for whom the play was written (Beerbohm Tree - i.e. a large company, lead by a number of big turns) didn't fit the ideal of the play, and Wilde added padding to fit the needs of the company.  Playing a small role in AWONI is different to playing a small part in, say - to be really cruel - Shakespeare, where the demands of the size of the company creates little jewels of parts; in AWONI you are aware that you are playing padding and you'd rather be cut out of the play than go on stage - unless the pay is particularly good.  In the first production of AWONI I was in, I did also double as general stage hand and butler, so I did keep quite busy.  I was actually given a charter to upstage everyone, as I spent much of Act Two giving massages to the ladies onstage (it was a modern dress production and I think the scene was supposed to have some kind of spa setting) but I resisted temptation and practised being invisible.  Whilst it is true that there are no such things as small parts, only small actors, it is also true that there's only so much you can do with two dozen exchanges, and sitting in a dressing room for two hours is incredibly boring.  This is one of the reasons (though it's mostly about cost) that writers these days try to keep the cast size to that which the play requires, no more.  No one writes one line parts anymore, unless they have one hell of a good reason.  Or they're an idiot.So, what can be learnt from AWONI
Give all your actors something to do. 
Set a clear tone and agenda for your play. 
Beware your argument showing.
Choose one genre and do it well. 
And don't worry if it doesn't all come together perfectly - you can always cannibalise your play for parts and use it to write your next play - and do it better. 
Oh, and what's AWONI's best feature?  It's short - it's mercifully short - so even if no one likes it, they're never much more than 50 minutes from the bar.

Monday, 12 March 2012

The Milk Bottle March Newsletter

For all those not on the mailing list, here's the latest news.  For those a little confused, we didn't do a mail out February, it was a little too full on following the London run and the late January news.  There's only so much information to put out.


The Milk Bottle March 2012 Newsletter: Gathering Forces

Auditions & Lectures

AUDITIONS:
For those who live in Suffolk there's a chance to get involved in Robert's community production of The Passion.  Open auditions are being held on Wednesday 14th March at 7.30pm at the Quay Theatre (see blog post for details).  It's the last big show he's doing in Suffolk as he's slowly withdrawing from exile.  If you see this after the auditions don't panic, there may still be room for you to join the chorus and be a part of this epic production.  Don't hesitate to get in touch - contact@milkbottleproductions.co.uk

LECTURE (Not):
Robert is putting the finishing touches to the first new story for the London run at Christmas and will be trying it out in The Guildhall, Lavenham on Friday 18th May at 7.30pm.  Titled The Shakespeare Delusion it is a comic tale poking fun at the excesses of Shakespearean scholars and those who deny he wrote the plays at all.  Tickets will be on sale in the Guildhall at the end of the month - but you can put your name down for tickets now by emailing us at contact@milkbottleproductions.co.uk and giving us your name, number of tickets and a telephone number.  NB:  Last years show sold out, so book now to avoid disappointment.


Milk Bottle Productions Presents...
The World Premiere of...
The Shakespeare Delusion
Written and Performed by Robert Crighton

Professor Ashborn invites you to share in his latest discoveries and lead you through the terrible secrets behind the man people call Shakespeare.  Using recently uncovered documentation Professor Ashborn can finally tell the true and completely true, truly true, utterly true, true story of the Shakespeare delusion! 
NB:  For those with an irony deficiency, this is a spoof.

Performing on Friday 18th May at 7.30pm
The Lavenham Guildhall, The Market Square, Lavenham
Tickets £8, available from the Guildhall from April. 
To reserve your tickets in advance email: contact@milkbottleproductions.co.uk 

That's all for the moment, Milk Bottle is largely resting, plotting and waiting for the Olympics to disappear, when we will raise our head above the parapet once again.

Monday, 27 February 2012

The Passion - Open Auditions

OPEN AUDITIONS FOR COMMUNITY EVENT

THE PASSION
Auditions Wednesday 14th March at 7.30pm
at the Quay Theatre, Sudbury.

·                     Roles big and small
·                     Community parts
·                     Singing
·                     Everyone is welcome to join
·                     No prior experience required.

Sudbury Dramatic Society is holding open auditions for the biggest show of the year – a huge community production of The Passion.  As well as the usual casting SDS is looking for a community cast to join the company, to add their voices to community choir and create the epic crowd scenes.  It’s a chance for anyone to be involved in performing this summer in the run up to the Olympics, helping to tell one of the greatest stories ever told, in one of the earliest pieces of English drama ever written.

Auditions are to be held on Wednesday 14th March at 7.30pm at the Quay Theatre, Sudbury.  Audition scripts are available from the Quay Box Office, or on request via email - contact@milkbottleproductions.co.uk

Show rehearsals are on Tuesday/Thursday Evenings and on Sunday Morning/Afternoons from late May to Performances in July.

*****

Sudbury Dramatic Society Presents...
The Passion
Based on the English Medieval Mystery Plays
Adapted for the Quay Stage and Directed by Robert Crighton

Before Shakespeare there were the mysteries, the first great dramas ever produced in English.  The original mystery plays were based on stories from the Bible, telling the story of the world from the creation through to doomsday and written to be performed on city streets over the course of a whole day.  This specially prepared version tells of the life of Christ focusing on his betrayal and what follows.  A powerful story told for all peoples, involving storytelling, music, drama and a community company open to all comers.

Performing Tuesday 10th to Saturday 14th July at 7.45pm
The Quay Theatre, Quay Lane, Sudbury, Suffolk, CO10 2AN

NB:  All shots below are for pre-publicity purposes and do not reflect casting as we haven't held auditions yet.

NOTES ON THE PLAY

Below is a list of the Big Parts you might want to audition for – there are lots more small roles on offer, but these are the ones we will focus on at the audition.  As far as I’m concerned the auditions are not about whether you get a part, it’s about what part you get.
NB:  We’re going to allow cross gender casting for ‘evil’ characters to ensure there are plenty of roles for women – so Satan, Herod, Annas and Caiaphas etc are up for grabs.

PARTS OF INTEREST:  I’ve not gone into detail in many of the parts as most of the ‘good’ characters are self evident. 

John THE BAPTIST
ANNAS and CAIAPHAS – Male or Female.  The high priest CAIAPHAS is prone to psychopathic rages, ANNAS is older and the power behind him, calm and subtle.
SATAN – Male or Female.  Has a close relationship with Judas
GABRIEL – Male or Female
JESUS – mid-thirties ideally, but the primary importance is physical fitness.
JOHN, PETER, JUDAS and other DISCIPLES – any age
MARY – old enough to be the mother of Jesus.
MARY MAGDALENE
PILATE is an ambiguous role - a politician through and through.
THE FOUR SOLDIERS – must be physically strong.  The four soldiers are brilliant parts - typical workmen.  They look at a job, suck in through their teeth and say it’ll cost you. 
SOLDIER 1:  The foreman – orders people about, but does nothing himself if he can.
SOLDIER 2:  Like a leaf in the wind, flitters between following 1 and 4.
SOLDIER 3:  The young lad – inexperienced, answers back.
SOLDIER 4:  H & S officer, also the union rep, doesn’t quite get on with 1.
HEROD – Male or Female.  Unlike Herod the Great who came before him (who’s a big shouty Brian Blessed figure), this Herod is a good humoured dilettante, until angered.

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Open Your Notebooks!

It's been a fragmented week, but I have made a start on the new stories for 2012.
This is how I started these stories and generally start most plays.

1. I create a crisp new document on my computer and type out the title and that it's by me, in case I forget.  In this case: The Shakespeare Delusion. (Which I've also got round to drafting a poster for - for the tryout anyway - see right - tickets on sale soon.)
2. I dig out my notebooks from the last year or so and look out the notes I made on this particular story.
3. As I type up each section I place it in the approximate area of the story so that the bits go in order, followed by general notes of thoughts, feelings and ideas for the story at the end of the document.
4. If I'm in a good mood I expand on these gobbits of text as I go along, adding detail, chasing any logical thoughts and ideas that come to me as I work.
5.  This process is done spasmodically over a day or two, by the end of which I have got all the ideas for the piece on one document, the key scenes/sections written up and a word count of somewhere between 500 and 1000 words.  This is always reassuring as it means I've got something to show for myself and before I've even started to do something anyone could call work.
6.  Now I go through my notes and discard files for any non-specific dialogue, joke, idea or just damn fine bit of prose that hasn't been homed in any other stories/plays.  These sit at the end of the file for me to look at during each writing session to give my brain to chance to weave them in naturally.  If I can't do this they get passed onto the next project.
7.  I'm usually juggling writing projects at this stage so I move onto story two, in this case Attack of the Christmas Squirrels and repeat this process, with the odd cut and paste for step 6.
8.  While I'm doing all this notebook transcribing I dig out the text of a play Complicated Pleasures that I've been toiling on and add a few notes I've made since last looking at it.  Amazed to find the word count already over 13,000 words and could be well onto the road of the first draft if I pull my finger out.
9.  I then write a blog about writing stuff.

That's us up to date I think.
Both The Shakespeare Delusion and Attack of the Christmas Squirrels will be shows that need to run at some 10 to 12,000 words each and have separate deadlines and outlines.  The Shakespeare Delusion is a single monologue told by one Professor L. Ashborn, whose account of an alternative history of Shakespeare is hijacked by the fact he is completely doolally.  He knows he is hallucinating, he knows the world he sees doesn't match our own, but he carries on regardless - which would account for a fair amount of Shakespearean scholarship in certain climbs.  This is the first character driven monologue of length that I've written since Fantasy Terrorist League (c. 2005) and Keynote Speaker (c. 2009) and it's rather nice to create a voice and person, as opposed to standing as an anonymous storyteller.  I have only written the character parts so far, the testimony of this man's researches and the strange journey he is taken on.  I will start on the 'factual' part of his lecture next - I did start writing a spoof Shakespeare lecture a few years ago but have yet to find the notes on it - frankly, the difficultly in spoofing theories about Shakespeare is that the spoof element is driven out by the number of crazy theories people believe anyway.  Hence the accent on character rather than on the lecture itself.
Observant people will have noticed that I have used the name Ashborn before.  Several times.  He was originally one Lord Ashborn, who I played as an occasional character whilst devising short plays at Sixth Form with my good friend David Aldous.  We did three twenty minute plays and finally launched Milk Bottle Productions together with our first full length play Lord Ashborn: Life, Death and the Pursuit of Cotton Buds I'm very fond of it, despite being a piece of juvenilia, and I'm tempted, one day, to have a crack at rewriting it.  I probably won't.  Professor L. Ashborn isn't going to be the same character, though he may have a few nods here and there, but it felt right to give the name at least another outing.
The Shakespeare Delusion will be written for a tryout in May, performing in Lavenham on Friday 18th May, so is the priority piece at present.  It will then be worked on over the year for performance at the Christmas Festival at Barons Court.  Those who orbit Suffolk can reserve tickets for the tryout now via email (below) prior to tickets being released in March, just send a name and the number of tickets (it sold out and then some last time, so be quick) and you'll be at the front of the queue.
Attack of the Christmas Squirrels is going to be quite different.  It may have a rough tryout in the autumn, but I might give it a different title to avoid the unseasonal date.  I don't intend to perform the show myself, but have a team of storytellers for the London run.  I might do the opening five minutes, just to keep me off the streets, but no more - I have other irons in the fire performance wise - largely with Nicholas NicklebySquirrels is going to be made of five or so interlocking / overlapping stories.  Each covers a different character (probably), each leads to the final act of the story (hopefully).  I'll be opening auditions for this and other parts and activities for the Christmas Festival later this year.  Again, if you're interested in being involved it won't do you any harm if you send your CV, pictures, show reel, link to website, huge bribe to contact@milkbottleproductions.co.uk anytime in the next few months.  Full details will follow later.

Thursday, 16 February 2012

The Seldom Plan

I am indebted in much of my work to Science Fiction and, on a day to day level, to the late Issac Asimov.  Not because my writing is obviously influenced by his (it largely isn't) but because one of his ideas has come to life as a way of assessing my work and the relative success or failure of it.
Asimov wrote a series of stories which were published as the Foundation trilogy.  In the Foundation trilogy and the various other books that followed, he expounded upon the idea of Psycho-history - the idea that in a future where there are countless billions of humans on thousands of planets it is possible to predict the future, a future history, which can be used to steer human progress.  The scientist who came up with this science of prediction instigated a plan to mould future history to steer civilisation away from total collapse.  This was called the Seldon Plan, after said scientist.  (Sadly Asimov's original stories came about prior to modern notions of chaos theory which renders this idea as mostly bunkum, but it made for some interesting reading.)
The plan was mapped out in mathematical equations and this would be worked upon, refining the shape of the future.  This map was called the Prime Radiant.
Why have I gone through the details of a fake science from a fiction of the future?  
Well, there is a place on my computer I call the Seldom Plan - it's where I put all the ideas, the projects, the plans I have made in the past and the future into one long timeline - my own personal Prime Radiant, if you will.  A timeline of events past into events future, all labelled in differing colours.  Events past labelled in blue have happened, events in red haven't; events future are left in black, or marked green if green lit (i.e. if the space is booked), or red if they have been already abandoned.  As time marches on the green and black it turns either blue or red, and as such I can see the rates of success and failure.  It's about 60 to 70% red, 40 to 30% blue.  Hence it is called the Seldom Plan, as the plans seldom happen.  One day I will exhibit my personal prime radiant as a work of art in itself.
Why do I bring this up now?  Because already my plans for this year have shifted.  Not massively, but enough to warrant a telling.  I like to think aloud and to some degree this blog acts as a sounding board for my plans and, as they're a good ten months away, I don't care if they cease to exist.  This blog is the voiced extension of the Milk Bottle Prime Radiant.  Looking back over my blogs from 2011 I can see several plans and actions that came to nothing.  And 2012 is no exception.
Storyteller 2012 has changed already - firstly, as detailed in the last but one blog, the readings of The Pickwick Papers is definitely and completely out.  It's just not working.  So, in with Nicholas Nickleby which is working.  Really nicely. Sorry to anyone who was looking forward to Pickwick, you can't persuade me otherwise.  Look, I've even changed the poster! [This production was, ironically, never produced - Rob 2013]
Also gone, or at least postponed until next year, is The Examiner of Beauty.  I'm not in a position at the moment to produce this show in the way I want, as the schedule for the winter run at Barons Court won't fit it.  It is an odd one out of the schedule.  So it will appear in 2013.  Probably. [It didn't - Rob 2013]
This means that the layout for the Christmas schedule has changed, stories being moved around and a new Selection Box show for Sunday nights, for which I'll be hunting for storytellers and material very, very soon. [This also never happened - Rob 2013]
I'll publish a full schedule for Christmas in a little while, as I don't want to create too much deviation in my Prime Radiant.  But an exposition on these changes can be heard on last weeks vlog, which appears here.  Till next week: ta, ta.

Sunday, 12 February 2012

Adventurous Americans and a Shaggy Dog Story.

An odd trend has hit my blog this month - the sudden rise, and I think rise is an apposite term, of hits (viewings of my blog) from America.  Now, America has always been a steady source of hits and I'm delighted to hear from people all round the world.  The Germans, French and Russians are less avid readers, but still quite interested in my antics in storytelling.  But getting traffic from around the globe is not the odd trend as mentioned above; it's that, suddenly, there's been a huge spike in hits on one post. So many, in fact, that this last month more people have been looking at the blog from the US of A than in the snow drenched shores of the UK, which is odd, as I don't know anyone in the US, whereas I post a link to this blog to people I do know in the UK.  Which suggests that the UK is sick to death of me, whereas the US has finally succumbed to my charms.
So, I looked at the post, first put up in July 2011 and concluded that, as there was a mention of the US in it, then a search engine has pointed them in my direction out of computerised nationalist tendencies.
Then, I looked further down the post and saw that much of it was about a little manifesto I'd written for a season of plays in 2010.  At last, I thought, wise people in the US have caught onto my brilliant thoughts and are flocking in droves.  Yay!
Then, I looked at what these wise people had typed into their search engine to bring up that post.  And the real reason appeared.  It rose up before me, positively engorged with logic.

Here are the entries in order of hits, highest at the top, typing errors included

1. cuckold
2. amateur cuckold blogs
3. amatuer cuckold
4. bizzare cuckolds
5. breeding wife cuckold
6. cuckold hot wife
7. cuckold men

Now, these could have been perfectly innocent enquiries into... I don't know... Restoration comedy or something, but I the last item

8. cum drinking cuckold

did rather confirm the worst.
The blog post in question did mention a play called Cuckold's Fair, which is about the above issues (including number 8, it isn't a piece for the faint of heart) but it wasn't a post aiming to assist in the practical propagation of infidelity.  These are not difficult to find, as I discovered when researching the above play.  My faith in humanity did diminish slightly.  My inner Bagpuss cried.
But the above eight were not all.  The list of sources of the hits on my blog concluded in two searches that hit different posts in my year long output.  The first of these searches was for a perfectly respectable actress friend of mine who was mentioned in passing this year, but who shares their name with a celebrated pornographic athlete from another country.
And no, I'm not telling you who she is.  I might even have already removed the name from my blog just in case. 
But worse was yet to come.
The second search was for this:

day old dogs for sale in cork

So, apart from my mailing list, followers and friends online and the usual suspects, all other hits on my blog has been for porn or a shaggy dog.
I can feel my ego whithering before me. 

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Happy Birthday Mr Dickens

Well, he's made it.  200 years and... well okay he is dead, but people still know who he is, that's pretty good.  Now, I've come to Dickens fairly late, only really working through the canon over the last few years, (I know, I've been busy with the English Renaissance, okay!) and over the last few months limbering up to performing an almost complete reading of one of his books.  Limbering up is a good term for the tongue has to get round some pretty robust speech.  I remember when I started working on the Sherlock Holmes stories finding them, at first, to be very difficult work.  Dickens, being another fifty years or so earlier, presents another verbal gap to jump.  My tongue is getting used to the longer sentences, the sentences that are sometimes so long that halfway through you lose a sense to where you started, and the structure of English used.  Once my tongue has wrapped its way round the idiom then I can really start cooking with gas.
I originally planned to do a reading of The Pickwick Papers - had even started to edit the text, and did a poster - but gave up after a couple of weeks.  The Pickwick Papers - episodic, jovial and humorous seemed the perfect text, but I found I couldn't structure the episodes into satisfying chunks for the audience.  Even assuming that the audience will return for all 20 parts (some will, many won't), each evening has to work as a one off, to be perfectly satisfying and complete and Pickwick just didn't fit.  It is, to be frank, a bit patchy.  (Sorry Dickens... what was that?  Oh, you're dead so don't care.  Fair enough.)
Nicholas Nickleby, on the other hand, is a perfect fit.  Of similar length, the plot for NN is very simple, but it does have one.  In a sentence, young Nicholas tries to make his way in the world, supported by friends and hampered by his wicked Uncle Ralph.  In a second - he prevails, his uncle fails and he (and his sister Kate) succeed in finding positions in the world, marry and live happily ever after - after meeting dozens of glorious characters good and bad.  Each episode (with occasional reshuffles of material) fits a neat hour plus segment and works on its own merits.  Having struggled for weeks with Pickwick, I have segmented NN into 20 episodes and have nearly finished editing the first 5 in but a few days.
There are edits made - but they are very minor.  Each episode needs to be around 12,000 words long, and when carved up NN tends to be 15,000+ words long per part.  Now 3,000 words an episode sounds a lot, but it really isn't.  For a reading I will remove, as a matter of course, extraneous 'he said, she saids' from the text and any description of voice or manner that will be obvious in my performance.  This usually amounts to a good 2000 words each episode.  After that I remove anything that isn't quite brilliant.  Some of the descriptions of the city of London tend to go on longer than the ear will bare, and often beyond that the tongue can make clear.  A sentence on a page, grammatically correct, can be utterly bamboozling to the hearer, regardless of skill or intention.  Minor trims here make these much clearer.  After that, if I haven't reached my limit, I will make harder choices, but so far this hasn't been necessary.
There is one exception of this hands off rule to the editing.  It's the coach crash in the early chapters of the book - written in, presumably, to create a good cliffhanger for the next instalment.  I have removed the whole event (an entire chapter) because it is quite frankly utterly boring.  Sorry Dickens, but I'm convinced you were hitting a deadline and recycled some old material to fill in that months copy.  The passengers, following the crash, retire to an inn and tell each other two not very good stories - very similar to the stories that punctuate Pickwick, but wholly unwelcome.
That aside, and having cut it it is very much aside, I love Nicholas Nickleby, it is a delight from the start to finish and I'm going to have so much fun performing it this Christmas.  I hope you will come and enjoy it also.  Tickets will be on sale soon.

[Since writing this blog entry all plans to do the above were changed.  For details as to why this happens to the best laid plans view the blog post: The Seldom Plan.]