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Saturday, 23 April 2011

Auditions - Storyteller 2011

Auditions – Storyteller 2011
Auditioning Online till 22nd May – London Auditions 21st May
Performing Monday 11th, Tuesday 12th and Wednesday 13th July 2011

For three nights in July Milk Bottle Productions is coming to the New Wimbledon Studio with our new show Storyteller 2011 – and we’re looking for additional storytellers to join the company. 

This first Storyteller show of the year is called The Natural History of Trolls by Robert Crighton, three stories covering a hundred and fifty years of history, two Queens and their subjects in the fairy kingdom.  Midst this epic timeline is the story of an ordinary commute gone wrong, when a troll-like tramp in an Underground carriage turns out to REALLY be a Troll.
For more background to the show do visit the Storyteller vlog or check out earlier posts on this blog.

Each successful auditionee will be given a two / three minute portion of the story to perform for one night only.  You would be part of a chain of eight-ten storytellers passing the baton of the story to the next person. 
Rehearsals – from 1pm on the day of performance.  You’ll work intensively with Robert and his team on your story for that afternoon and then perform it that evening.  There is no other rehearsal.  Successful auditionees must turn up to rehearse knowing their lines and be ready to work their socks off for the rest of the day.  There may also be an improvisational element to the show for some company members.
Fee – profit share.  We do not calculate this will be a vast amount, due to the size of the company, but it should cover expenses. 

For the next four weeks you can audition online.  Record a video of your performance of the sample script – found below on our blog and upload it to a YouTube or other type site and send the link to us at with a copy your CV and any other info you feel might be of use.
Please don’t send video files to us direct – we won't open them.
Whether you upload your video to YouTube or another site, do keep the upload private / unlisted – we don’t intend to have your video’s judged by the mass media marketplace.  We will not forward or use these videos unless you give us permission. 
For those who are technically ill equipped – or who would like to be seen physically – there will be one audition in London on Saturday 21st May.  Just send us a CV to (don’t bother about a picture, it is irrelevant to storytellers) and we’ll let you know the time and place of the audition and pass on other relevant details.

We’ll be working online – so keep an eye on your inbox for initial confirmation of casting.  We’ll send those out on Wednesday 25th May.  For those cast there will be follow up material, a contract and the text of your monologue.
The show will be returning to London for a six week run in late November – so there may be follow up casting to this short run later in the year – even if you don’t get cast this time around.

23rd April – Online Auditions and Applications Open
21st May – London Auditions (time and place tba)
22nd May – Online Auditions close
25th May onwards – Confirmation emails, general contact
11th July from 1pm – First Team
12th July from 1pm – Second Team
13th July from 1pm – Third Team

AUDITION TEXT:   This is still a draft and so may contain material which will change prior to the show.  For those auditioning on Saturday 21st May there will be other monologues to play with – if only to stop the audition panel getting very bored with the repetition.

Once Upon a Time there was a young Princess
Who encountered a fairy at the bottom of her garden.
Now, being a Princess, this was one BIG garden
And one had to go a long way to find anything living there -
Let alone a fairy.
This fairy didn’t talk, but it could dance in the air
And, most thrillingly, turn itself into ANYTHING
The Princess happened to think of.
The Princess first discovered this little creature
When she had briefly escaped her governess
And gone for a walk in the grounds to think.
It was thinking about stuff that got her highness
And a lot of other people, into a lot of trouble.
The Princess was thinking about a story
She had been reading in a book all week.
As she ran the improbabilities of the story through her mind
She thought she would hear a rustling amongst the trees.
Slowly, carefully a tiny fairy, exactly like in the book, appeared.
She held out her hand and onto it the fairy
Sat, looking at the princess with its miniscule eyes.
But there was something wrong with its form.
The fairy in the book had dark hair, not light brown...
And as she thought it, the hair changed colour.
A lesser child would have dropped the creature
But she had been brought up well and wasn’t fazed.
The Princess simply stared and thought – thought
Really hard
That the fairy should have a beard!
And at the Royal command – the fairy grew a long beard.
The experiment was clear, the creature could change shape.
So the Princess cupped her hands round the fairy
And took it back with her into the house.
From that day till she turned eleven, the fairy
Was a prized companion to her in her loneliness.
The Princess was an important person, she knew that,
There were future duties which scared her family
And that was why her life was very dull indeed.
But in the snatched moments alone with her fairy
She could play and mould its shape and form
Into her hearts contents.
When the Princess was eleven she discovered
That there had been a death in her family. 
She wasn’t all that worried about the person who died
More that it meant that she was now an
Even more important person.
She wasn’t just any Princess now – one day she
And she alone would be Queen.
The future Queen sat thinking about this when
Her fairy appeared beside her.
As she thought about this life changing step
The fairy started to change.  Grow.
It grew to man size – no, her size...
Her shape.
The fairy was a mirror image of herself – the face reversed
As in a real mirror.
Only it wasn’t exactly the same as the Princess.
It wore a crown and fine jewels and held a sceptre
And a ball and there were voices
Chants and prayers
And ceremonies and
It was all too
The young Princess didn’t lash out as such,
She was too well brought up for that.  She didn’t
Scream or shout or attack the fairy, physically or verbally.
But she did think of a rejection – she did think
With all the passion of a child – that the fairy
Was a horrible, evil, terrible creature and must
And the nasty fairy, silent and obedient to the last,
Just faded away...


Milk Bottle Productions Presents...
Teaching Gods: The Ultimate Selection
Written and Performed by Robert Crighton
With Special Guests – Catherine Eccles and Simon Nader

For over two years Milk Bottle has been touring the multi-award winning Teaching Gods storytelling show – but all good things must come to an end.  Prior to the launch of a new show in the autumn Milk Bottle presents the very best stories from Teaching Gods for the last time.  Including the hilarious tale of The Alternative Seagull, the charming children’s story (not for children) Bink! and the madcap title story Teaching Gods itself.  ABSOLUTELY THE LAST CHANCE TO SEE!

Tickets £10 / £8 concessions
Special Ticket Prices for attendees of The Revengers – See details below.
Show starts at 7pm – doors open 6.45pm.
Sunday 22nd May at the Barons Court Theatre
Box Office: 020 8932 4747
Baron’s Court Theatre, “The Curtain’s Up”, 28A Comeragh Road W14
Nearest Tube:  Baron’s Court (Piccadilly/District Lines)

The Cast:
Robert Crighton
Robert is the author of all the monologues and performs the award-winning Teaching Gods.  He is only entrant in the 25 year history of the Lost One-Act Festival to win three awards in successive years.  A major new talent, Robert is returning to London with his touring production of the best of his stories.  With Milk Bottle he has produced a mix of work, from classical drama to new plays, but returns to a favoured format, the monologue.  His last show was the tour-de-force The Complete Sherlock Holmes, in which he performed every single story over 32 performances.
"… you'd better be quick to catch Robert Crighton enthrall you..." Remotegoat 2011

Catherine Eccles
Catherine’s theatre credits include A Servant of Two Masters, 21st Century Faust and Crave.  She has recently finished filming in Ben Fellows’ latest feature film, Greenwich Village Massacre and plays the role of Witch Guinevere Westmorland in Children’s TV series, Spooked.  She’s a regular performer with The Kitten Club as self devised comedy burlesque character and compere ‘Vixen DeVille’.

Simon Nader
Simon Nader trained at The Academy Drama School as The Stage Scholarship winner. Collaborations with Robert include the previous London runs of Teaching Gods, and Teiresias in BLIND SPOTS (2010). Other credits include BILLY BLISTER’S CIRCUS (Watford Palace Theatre), MAGGIE’S END (Shaw), OF MICE AND MEN (National Tour), THE OTHER SIDE (Gilded Balloon Edinburgh), CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF (Union Theatre) and most recently THE REVENGERS (Barons Court). Feature films include: IRONCLAD , Fodor’s HAMLET, FUR MEINEN VATER and THE DEAD INSIDE. TV incl. URBAN LEGENDS (Channel Five) and a daily show on ITV’s Men and Motors Channel as a presenter: CASH LOUNGE.

In association with THE REVENGERS!
* If you buy your ticket for THE REVENGERS and at the same time purchase your ticket in advance for "TEACHING GODS and other stories: The ULTIMATE selection!" which will be at Barons Court at 7pm on Sunday May 22nd, you will get both tickets at the concession rate saving a whopping £4.50! Lovely job? For more info see: *

Orange Grille Productions presents:
“Following their hit play Maggie’s End, Tyneside-based writers Ed Waugh and Trevor Wood, are returning to London with their dark comedy: “THE REVENGERS!” Katy Dream is a sex-symbol; a kick-ass kung-fu queen who, as Gemma Peel in hit TV show “The Revengers” once killed a man with her tongue… Twenty-five years later she’s plain old Katy West, caring for her wheelchair bound, Castro-obsessed Marxist husband Jimmy. Enter charming but sinister loan-shark Gary to bring more than a touch of drama back into Katy’s world… “An extraordinary dramatic comedy – a shining example of great theatre which should not be missed” Tribune”
May 10th-15th and 17th–21st 7:45pm/Sat mats 2pm £12.50/£10.00

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