Follow by Email

Tuesday, 29 April 2014

Shit Shakespeare

I'm trying to find a shit bit of Shakespeare.  It's really difficult.  I need to find one line - one line that is irredeemably second rate.  Something that leaps off the tongue like an elephant in a swimsuit that plunges into the water of language with a booming untidy SPLASH!
It's for a one line gag in The Shakespeare Delusion which I'm performing in a little under four weeks time.  I just need one line of Shakespeare, which is obviously rubbish (or weird - I'll take weird) to punctuate the joke.  My choice of line for the first version which premiered a couple of years ago was so so - so I've asked the internet for suggestions.
So far I've had:

  1. To step out of these dreary dumps
  2. A maid and stuffed? Aye, there's goodly catching of cold.
  3. I marvel thy master hath not eaten thee for a word; for thou art not so long by the head as honorificabilitudinitatibus: thou art easier swallowed than a flap-dragon.
  4. Betwixt Dravidian shores and linear five nine three oh one six seven point oh two, and strikes the fulsome grove of Rexel Four. Co-radiating crystal, activate!
Spot the obvious odd one out.  Some people just don't appreciate the seriousness of this mission (and this is a mission now) to find the worst lines in Shakespeare.  Google failed me - the best I got were overrated quotes - all of which were quite good.  So, come on people, we can do better!  Find me the worst lines from Shakespeare!  Bring me your clangers!  Bring me your typos!  Bring me the incomprehensible!  Find me shit Shakespeare!

The winner of my favourite shit quote will get a free copy of the published script with a thank you inside!  There, that's an incentive for you.  Either tweet me @RobertCrighton or email

The Shakespeare Delusion is performing at the Quay Theatre on Monday 26th May, at the LOST One-Act Festival on Wednesday 28th May and later in the year at the Face to Face Festival. 

No comments:

Post a Comment