A Magical World, All In One Place

I'm currently editing Problem Tree for release to my patrons tomorrow, and have started on the next adventure. The not quite full list of new audio coming out this year is below - there is only a rough schedule at present, but I'm aiming to put out something new each week or so.  If you like my work, then consider becoming a patron - it makes a huge difference to the kind of work I can create.

Revivals and Re-releases: Fresh from the Milk Bottle Archives

Bink!
Written by Robert Crighton
Performed by Cat LaCohie

Molly was left alone a lot. Her parents were always out. So she started talking to herself, to the furniture, to the house. And then the house answered back.
A children’s story... just not for children.

First Performed on Tuesday 13th January 2009 at the Tabard Theatre.
Available to purchase online now.
Out now - listen on audioboom or YouTube

Problem Tree

Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Problem Tree is the impossible story of one man’s father and a tree that can’t exist. A story of the First World War, of running away from your past and hiding in the future. 

First performed in 2009, this story has undergone many changes and minor rewrites, but it's now time for it to come out on audio.  

Out now - listen on audioboom or YouTube

Countdown to the Other Side
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

A short story, first performed as part of Ghost Storyteller in 2011, telling of the slow fading of a poltergeist and its daily routine.

It helps if you have a good working knowledge of the history of the presenters of Countdown and it's transmission schedule from the late 90's onwards.

Release Date: January - listen on audioboom or YouTube

Teaching Gods
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton
Winner of the “Best Writing” Award at the LOST Theatre One-Act Festival 2007

The Gods have invaded the University. All thoughts of normal academic life disappear as the campus dissolves into chaos. The flowers walk and the squirrels clean kitchens. Will the agents of chaos win against the hardnosed grey suited form of the Vice Chancellor? What do you think?
Teaching Gods was written in memory of the Middlesex University campus cat. Who had many names.

Teaching Gods was first performed in an earlier version in “the Space” at Sudbury Arts Centre on Saturday 4th October 2003.  This revised version was performed as part of a Double Bill with Fantasy Terrorist League at the Quay Theatre on Saturday 17th March 2007 and won the Best Writing Award at the Lost One-Act Festival 2007.  It revived in the current version at the Tabard Theatre in January 2009 and has been omnipresent in the repertoire since.
Available to purchase online now.
Release Date: March - listen on audioboom or YouTube

The Examiner of Small Ailments
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

The Examiner of the title is a man who can make little medical problems disappear by singing to them. When he moves into the realm of cosmetic surgery (or rather cosmetic singing) he goes from being a strange curiosity into an international figure of 'beauty' and power.

First Performed on Wednesday 6th May at the Quay Theatre before joining the stories of Teaching Gods for the run at Barons Court in 2009.  The show has dropped out of my repertoire as I've been working on a new version.  I'm toying with releasing this based on the original text, but we shall see.
Release Date: TBA

The Shakespeare Delusion
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Professor Ashborn invites you to share in his latest discoveries and lead you through the terrible secrets behind the man people call Shakespeare. Did he really write the plays? Was he really bald? Did he really like cheese? Using recently uncovered documentation Professor Ashborn can finally tell the true and completely true, truly true, utterly true, true, true story of the truth behind the Shakespeare delusion!

Audience Comments for The Shakespeare Delusion (2014): “Fabulous production... Just recovering from high octane performance of @RobertCrighton The Shakespeare Delusion #immense... I SO knew where The Shakespeare Delusion was going - & I was SO wrong!!! Chekhov meets Berkoff as performed by Stephen Fry.”
Reviews from 2016:  "Crighton gives a masterful and energetic performance as Ashborn... It’s surreal and confrontational, played with an intensity that was uncomfortable at times but compelling." pubtheatres1
"A brilliantly original and entertaining performance." Five Stars from londontheatre1.com
Release Date: September - listen now on audioboom or YouTube

New Works: Spanking New Drama & Comedy for 2017

LIVE FROM THE GET IN!  

Written by Robert Crighton

Performed by Abbie Broom, Heidi Bernhard-Bubb, Robert Crighton & Michael Fouldes.  And maybe some special guests.

Live from... is a radio comedy and sketch show – live from in front of the set of whichever show is getting in the following week at the Quay Theatre.  New material, sketches and monologues streamed live online.  

The Saturday 4^th March show is currently in the edit.

The UN Special Representative
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Mr BEEP BEEP is having a trying day.  He was awoken at three in the morning by a team of 'experts' from the UN, because an event on the other side of the world threatens to change his life forever.  However, the letters U and N do not stand for the United Nations, and his crisis is more existential than actual.

I've been toying with this idea for a story for years and am finally ready to finish it.  I don't know whether I will record this in the studio or in front of an audience, it depends what sorry of funny it ends up being.
Release Date: TBA

Prevent
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: TBA

A follow up play to the award-winning Fantasy Terrorist League, Prevent tells the story of a young man trapped in a flawed system that criminalises thought, and where the gap between real and perceived threats is not acknowledged.
Release Date: TBA

Investigate Me?
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: TBA

'Why aren't you investigating me?'  A twisted version of a police drama, where a member of the public insists on being investigated for possible criminal acts.  The young DC doesn't want to be wasting her time with him, but even her superiors insist on an investigation.  Surreal drama.
Release Date:  TBA

Commentary
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: TBA

A new play about the different interpretations of the making of a film, as made during an audio commentary for a DVD release.

Release Date:  TBA

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

Subscribe to our mailing list

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First Day Investigating

Today we've started to record Investigate Me? a new audio drama coming... when it's ready.  It's only loosely got a script - at the moment - and is being recorded largely on location.  Today was the first chance for our protagonist (as played by Sonia Lindsey-Scripps) and the antagonist (the redoubtable Peter Drew) got together to work on a number of scenes that are semi scripted.  Over the next few months we're going to meet up and rework these scenes, add more and newer ones and add additional characters.  It's been a mix of sitting in the warm drinking coffee, and wandering around in the cold next to a B road.
What is it about?  It's a sort of detective story, though the case she's investigating is not particularly normal.  It all hinges on why a Mr Sedge wishes to be investigated by the police.  And that's all I can say at the moment.

It's all really exciting, and I can't wait to see where it goes next.

We also recorded something very silly, which I hope to release soon.

Investigate Me?
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: Sonia Lindsey-Scripps and Peter Drew
Additional Cast: TBA

'Why aren't you investigating me?'  A twisted version of a police drama, where a member of the public insists on being investigated for possible criminal acts.  The young DC doesn't want to be wasting her time with him, but even her superiors insist on an investigation.  Surreal drama.
Release Date:  TBA

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

Subscribe to our mailing list

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name

Last Name

New New Audio for 2017

I've already posted about some of the old shows I'm recording this coming year, now for the exciting stuff, the new work.  The new new work, not new recordings of old work.

New Works: Spanking New Drama & Comedy for 2017

LIVE FROM THE GET IN!  

Written by Robert Crighton

Performed by Abbie Broom, Heidi Bernhard-Bubb, Robert Crighton & Michael Fouldes.  And maybe some special guests.

Live from... is a radio comedy and sketch show – live from in front of the set of whichever show is getting in the following week at the Quay Theatre.  New material, sketches and monologues streamed live online.  

The UN Special Representative
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Mr BEEP BEEP is having a trying day.  He was awoken at three in the morning by a team of 'experts' from the UN, because an event on the other side of the world threatens to change his life forever.  However, the letters U and N do not stand for the United Nations, and his crisis is more existential than actual.

I've been toying with this idea for a story for years and am finally ready to finish it.  I don't know whether I will record this in the studio or in front of an audience, it depends what sorry of funny it ends up being.
Release Date: TBA

Prevent
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: TBA

A follow up play to the award-winning Fantasy Terrorist League, Prevent tells the story of a young man trapped in a flawed system that criminalises thought, and where the gap between real and perceived threats is not acknowledged.
Release Date: TBA

Investigate Me?
Written by Robert Crighton

'Why aren't you investigating me?'  A twisted version of a police drama, where a member of the public insists on being investigated for possible criminal acts.  The young DC doesn't want to be wasting her time with him, but even her superiors insist on an investigation.  Surreal drama.
Release Date:  TBA

Commentary
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: TBA

A new play about the different interpretations of the making of a film, as made during an audio commentary for a DVD release.

Release Date:  TBA

Bink! is released

Bink!
Written by Robert Crighton
Performed by Cat LaCohie

Molly was left alone a lot. Her parents were always out. So she started talking to herself, to the furniture, to the house. And then the house answered back.
A children’s story... just not for children.

First Performed on Tuesday 13th January 2009 at the Tabard Theatre.

Release Date: Friday 13th January - listen on audioboom or YouTube

Audioboom...


Or YouTube


The next release is next week!  Problem Tree will be released on Wednesday 18th January - catch all new releases early by becoming a patron. Rewards for patrons include early release of material, before the rest of the world.  Go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton to support new work.

Problem Tree

Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Problem Tree is the impossible story of one man’s father and a tree that can’t exist. A story of the First World War, of running away from your past and hiding in the future. 

First performed in 2009, this story has undergone many changes and minor rewrites, but it's now time for it to come out on audio.  

Release Date: Wednesday 18th January, earlier for patrons.

Proof of Age

So, I got offered an upgrade on my phone. I didn't ask for one, they kept calling, and in a moment of weakness I answered the call from the company and agreed to a new phone, same contract.
Next day, phone arrived.  Felt somewhat guilty as I put the sim card in, I didn't need the new phone.  (Yes, I'm part of the problem, and we're all going to die.)
But the sim card wouldn't stay in.  It's supposed to click as it goes in.  It did click, but it wouldn't stay in.  First world guilt forgotten, I attempted, repeatedly, to get the sim to stay in.  It was the right way round, it clicked, but it wasn't staying in.
I phoned the help number (irony?) and, after many a merry go round, I'm told to go to a shop.
You may remember shops.
So, having worked late last night to have the morning free, I go into a shop.
I hand over the device.
The boy ten years my junior puts the sim card in first time.
It stays.
Ritual humiliation over, I return home and get back to work.
I am now old.
When the snows come, take me out into the wilderness and leave me to die.
My time has come.

Bink! Remastered

So, eight years ago, almost to the day, an audience of unsuspecting... people (we'll call them people, it was the London Fringe and you can never tell) watched and listened to a world premiere - Bink! - part of Teaching Gods and Other Stories at the Tabard Theatre and performed by the marvellous Catherine Eccles.  Since that show Catherine Eccles has been brutally slaughtered, her bloody carcass only returning to life following a drastic Americanoscopy, which saw her reborn in LA as the (admittedly equally) marvellous Cat LaCohie.

Catherine before the recording.

Before she was cruelly taken away from us by fate and a work visa, she recorded Bink! which was made available for download.

Cat, after the surgery.

But now, for a limited time only, Bink! will be released for free for all to hear.  Before that could happen, I needed to remaster the original recording.
Seriously? I hear you cry.  (I hear your voices in my head, that's normal.)  Seriously, you cry, it's someone reading a story, what needs to be remastered.
Well, I made a mistake in the original release.  It's a small one, but it annoys me everything I've heard it since.  I gave the wrong instruction to the editor and... well...
An M is missing.
At the very top of the story Cat says: "Molly..." and the M is missing.  It comes out as "Olly..." So, I have gone back to the master tapes (yeah right, like it's on tape) and have carefully edited back this missing M.
It's this delayed-by-four-years attention to detail that has got me where I am today.

Bink!
Written by Robert Crighton
Performed by Cat LaCohie
Molly was left alone a lot. Her parents were always out. So she started talking to herself, to the furniture, to the house. And then the house answered back.
A children’s story... just not for children.

Bink! is released on Friday 13th January.

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton 

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

Subscribe to our mailing list

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name

Last Name

New Audio 2017

The preparation of audio works for the online universe is rarely a linear process.  There isn't a schedule in the same way as with my theatre work - deadlines can be broken too easily.  That's why many examples of my audio work have been promised and not delivered.  I'm not going to promise that I'll be more consistent in the future, but I'll lay out some of my stall for 2017 and we'll see how it goes.
New work, as previously noted, is in the early stages of pre-production, but many of these are full cast recordings and have no set timetable because it's never certain when people will be available or when the money will come through to make it happen.  But they're definitely getting somewhere and I'll blog about them soon.  Old work is easier as most of the pieces I'm recording now are monologues.  Broadly the plan is to release recordings of works created 2009/2010, so that I'm only eight years behind the times.  The first release will be this Friday!

Revivals and Re-releases: Fresh from the Milk Bottle Archives

Bink!
Written by Robert Crighton
Performed by Cat LaCohie

Molly was left alone a lot. Her parents were always out. So she started talking to herself, to the furniture, to the house. And then the house answered back.
A children’s story... just not for children.

First Performed on Tuesday 13th January 2009 at the Tabard Theatre.
Available to purchase online now.
Release Date: Friday 13th January - listen on audioboom or YouTube

Problem Tree

Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Problem Tree is the impossible story of one man’s father and a tree that can’t exist. A story of the First World War, of running away from your past and hiding in the future. 

First performed in 2009, this story has undergone many changes and minor rewrites, but it's now time for it to come out on audio.  

Release Date: Wednesday 18th January - listen on audioboom or YouTube

Teaching Gods
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton
Winner of the “Best Writing” Award at the LOST Theatre One-Act Festival 2007

The Gods have invaded the University. All thoughts of normal academic life disappear as the campus dissolves into chaos. The flowers walk and the squirrels clean kitchens. Will the agents of chaos win against the hardnosed grey suited form of the Vice Chancellor? What do you think?
Teaching Gods was written in memory of the Middlesex University campus cat. Who had many names.

Teaching Gods was first performed in an earlier version in “the Space” at Sudbury Arts Centre on Saturday 4th October 2003.  This revised version was performed as part of a Double Bill with Fantasy Terrorist League at the Quay Theatre on Saturday 17th March 2007 and won the Best Writing Award at the Lost One-Act Festival 2007.  It revived in the current version at the Tabard Theatre in January 2009 and has been omnipresent in the repertoire since.
Available to purchase online now.
Release Date: March - listen on audioboom or YouTube

The Examiner of Small Ailments
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

The Examiner of the title is a man who can make little medical problems disappear by singing to them. When he moves into the realm of cosmetic surgery (or rather cosmetic singing) he goes from being a strange curiosity into an international figure of 'beauty' and power.

First Performed on Wednesday 6th May at the Quay Theatre before joining the stories of Teaching Gods for the run at Barons Court in 2009.  The show has dropped out of my repertoire as I've been working on a new version.  I'm toying with releasing this based on the original text, but we shall see.
Release Date: TBA

The Shakespeare Delusion
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Professor Ashborn invites you to share in his latest discoveries and lead you through the terrible secrets behind the man people call Shakespeare. Did he really write the plays? Was he really bald? Did he really like cheese? Using recently uncovered documentation Professor Ashborn can finally tell the true and completely true, truly true, utterly true, true, true story of the truth behind the Shakespeare delusion!

Audience Comments for The Shakespeare Delusion (2014): “Fabulous production... Just recovering from high octane performance of @RobertCrighton The Shakespeare Delusion #immense... I SO knew where The Shakespeare Delusion was going - & I was SO wrong!!! Chekhov meets Berkoff as performed by Stephen Fry.”
Reviews from 2016:  "Crighton gives a masterful and energetic performance as Ashborn... It’s surreal and confrontational, played with an intensity that was uncomfortable at times but compelling." pubtheatres1
"A brilliantly original and entertaining performance." Five Stars from londontheatre1.com
Release Date: September - listen now on audioboom or YouTube

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

Subscribe to our mailing list

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name

Last Name