So, I got offered an upgrade on my phone. I didn't ask for one, they kept calling, and in a moment of weakness I answered the call from the company and agreed to a new phone, same contract.
Next day, phone arrived. Felt somewhat guilty as I put the sim card in, I didn't need the new phone. (Yes, I'm part of the problem, and we're all going to die.)
But the sim card wouldn't stay in. It's supposed to click as it goes in. It did click, but it wouldn't stay in. First world guilt forgotten, I attempted, repeatedly, to get the sim to stay in. It was the right way round, it clicked, but it wasn't staying in.
I phoned the help number (irony?) and, after many a merry go round, I'm told to go to a shop.
You may remember shops.
So, having worked late last night to have the morning free, I go into a shop.
I hand over the device.
The boy ten years my junior puts the sim card in first time.
Ritual humiliation over, I return home and get back to work.
I am now old.
When the snows come, take me out into the wilderness and leave me to die.
My time has come.