The Time Machine - Photos from Beyond Time

I've been stupidly busy, so have neglected you. I've been recording lots of audio (and failed to edit it) and been making this show happen.  Here are some unedited photos from the dress rehearsal of The Time Machine - still on for another two shows. There's also a trailer video at the bottom.  Enjoy.

From left to right - Maxine Derrick, Matt Byham, Mark Scanlon,
Kevin Roychowdhury, Tom Eddington & Richard Fawcett

The Time Machine - sets and ideas

The Time Machine is coming up in about seven weeks.  Or, if you ascribe to the block theory of the universe, it's happening now, has happened, has always happened.  I'm currently running with the view that if the show goes up in April then I'll start rehearsals in September and write it next year.  This joke has always existed.
At the moment we're still in pre-production, the script changes every day, new sounds and new ideas are being tested.  The other evening the marvellous Harold Spengler, who isn't in the show but was available to lend a hand, pointed out something that could have destroyed the whole evening.
To quote: "How could you not notice this?"
Basically, and I don't want to go into too much detail, Herbert Wells wrote something in the original book that sounds really silly when said out loud.  Once you notice how silly it is, the show would be ruined.  It is the kind of double entendre that I normally leap on.  Hence the italics on you.
Science fiction is heaped with silly words, and there's only so much I or the cast can do to change it, but we are going to massage the problem and hope it goes away.  See, a semi entendre there.
This week I promised my cast the draft script, but the cast has just increased in size, so they're going to have to wait until tomorrow.  This is sort of annoying - far everyone else rather than me - but more people in a cast is the kind of problem I can live with.  It means I can now do some really clever bits of action and make the whole thing move more fluidly.  Huzzah!
More rehearsal shots and maybe some video will be coming soon - but for the moment above there are some of the ideas for the set.  Tomorrow I'm meeting to discuss what it'll actually look like - so more on that soon!

And you'll find out more about the show if you watch it - by booking your tickets now.

Quay Productions Presents...

The Time Machine

By H.G. Wells

Adapted and Directed by Robert Crighton

Far in the future, the human race has become something different – a peaceful species, who live in simple harmony with the planet.  But beneath the surface there is a terrifying secret – one that is uncovered by a traveller from the distant past.  Before there was Doctor Who, there was the Time Machine – this is a brand new adaptation of the first true science fiction story, where the past and the future meet with dramatic results. 

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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The Time Machine - from the rehearsal room

I don't know if you've seen The Man Who Fell To Earth, but there's a scene (actually more a recurring image) where the alien is sitting watching multiple television screens, absorbing multiple programmes in a wall of jarring dissonance.  I'm sort of living this scene at the moment as I create a stage version of The Time Machine by H.G. Wells.
Much of the process of adaptation is fairly straightforward - take the text and cut out what isn't stageable (a lot of description) or interesting (a lot more description), turn text into dialogue and create scenes around the incidents of the book.  This leaves you with a bare bones text to start shaping into a piece of exciting, interesting, living theatre.  And that's where it gets more complicated.
The Time Machine is a story set in the distant future where no one speaks English - or any known modern language.  This creates a problem in writing a drama - a story told via dialogue and plot.  It could be done, but it would involve moving the story away from the original source material in ways that would feel forced.

The beginning of an idea...

I started thinking about how the story could be told, started reading around the story, reading about how time actually works, and current theories about time travel.  I started thinking about how the show will look, how the show will sound, who will be in it, how many people will be in it...
Once you get to that point you stop writing a script, you start drawing it, you start collecting music and sound ideas, you start sketching out movements and set designs - The Time Machine is not being written in a straightforward, text first way.  It can't, the main characters barely talk.
Then I started to see who would be in the production, started writing material around the cast I have (and I have some wonderful people in the cast - more soon) and started to do little tests of material.
On Sunday I went to the theatre and started to lay out tables and chairs, to create a possible layout for the show.  I got together with a member of the cast (Kevin Roychowdhury) and asked him to move around the space, so that I could have images with me at home of how the space works.
I then asked him to stand on a table for ages and test out a short speech that he wasn't going to say.  I didn't know before we started that I was going to do this but, after a quick verbal risk assessment, up he went.  I took a few shots of that as well.  You can see the idea, the basic shape of the image, looks quite cool - though it won't be Kevin on the table and it'll be costumed etc. But it's an idea.  An idea that I've just added to the script.
We then played around with two scenes in the play that have been scripted pretty much from the very beginning - running them with music and working out how long those scenes run.  Kevin, again, stood in for another role, which I filmed so as to watch later and plan changes.  Broadly I've discovered I need to shorten a couple of sequences.  The show is now better.
I was in London the other week, going to the theatre, walking round a few galleries, generally soaking up ideas and images.  Stealing is a necessary part of any artistic endeavour and London is full of ideas to steal.  I spent as much time sitting in a corner somewhere drinking coffee and scribbling in my notebook as I did looking at anything around me.  Mixing ideas, field trips and exploratory rehearsal has given me a pretty good idea of how the set will look.  I know where I'm putting the cast, I know, broadly what they're saying and how they're saying it.
Each week I'm doing more experiments with space, with the text, with images and sound - and each week I'll post some of it online.  For you.  And though I can't be certain precisely how the show will look and sound at this point, I do know one thing.  With two months to go before curtain up, I know The Time Machine is going to be pretty fucking cool.
But I would say that.
Find out for yourself by booking your tickets now.

Quay Productions Presents...

The Time Machine

By H.G. Wells

Adapted and Directed by Robert Crighton

Far in the future, the human race has become something different – a peaceful species, who live in simple harmony with the planet.  But beneath the surface there is a terrifying secret – one that is uncovered by a traveller from the distant past.  Before there was Doctor Who, there was the Time Machine – this is a brand new adaptation of the first true science fiction story, where the past and the future meet with dramatic results. 

Performing: 6th, 7th & 8th April at 7.30pm at The Quay Theatre

Tickets: 01787 374745 or via their website.

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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A Magical World, All In One Place

I'm currently editing Problem Tree for release to my patrons tomorrow, and have started on the next adventure. The not quite full list of new audio coming out this year is below - there is only a rough schedule at present, but I'm aiming to put out something new each week or so.  If you like my work, then consider becoming a patron - it makes a huge difference to the kind of work I can create.

Revivals and Re-releases: Fresh from the Milk Bottle Archives

Bink!
Written by Robert Crighton
Performed by Cat LaCohie

Molly was left alone a lot. Her parents were always out. So she started talking to herself, to the furniture, to the house. And then the house answered back.
A children’s story... just not for children.

First Performed on Tuesday 13th January 2009 at the Tabard Theatre.
Available to purchase online now.
Out now - listen on audioboom or YouTube

Problem Tree

Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Problem Tree is the impossible story of one man’s father and a tree that can’t exist. A story of the First World War, of running away from your past and hiding in the future. 

First performed in 2009, this story has undergone many changes and minor rewrites, but it's now time for it to come out on audio.  

Out now - listen on audioboom or YouTube

Countdown to the Other Side
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

A short story, first performed as part of Ghost Storyteller in 2011, telling of the slow fading of a poltergeist and its daily routine.

It helps if you have a good working knowledge of the history of the presenters of Countdown and it's transmission schedule from the late 90's onwards.

Release Date: January - listen on audioboom or YouTube

Teaching Gods
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton
Winner of the “Best Writing” Award at the LOST Theatre One-Act Festival 2007

The Gods have invaded the University. All thoughts of normal academic life disappear as the campus dissolves into chaos. The flowers walk and the squirrels clean kitchens. Will the agents of chaos win against the hardnosed grey suited form of the Vice Chancellor? What do you think?
Teaching Gods was written in memory of the Middlesex University campus cat. Who had many names.

Teaching Gods was first performed in an earlier version in “the Space” at Sudbury Arts Centre on Saturday 4th October 2003.  This revised version was performed as part of a Double Bill with Fantasy Terrorist League at the Quay Theatre on Saturday 17th March 2007 and won the Best Writing Award at the Lost One-Act Festival 2007.  It revived in the current version at the Tabard Theatre in January 2009 and has been omnipresent in the repertoire since.
Available to purchase online now.
Release Date: March - listen on audioboom or YouTube

The Examiner of Small Ailments
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

The Examiner of the title is a man who can make little medical problems disappear by singing to them. When he moves into the realm of cosmetic surgery (or rather cosmetic singing) he goes from being a strange curiosity into an international figure of 'beauty' and power.

First Performed on Wednesday 6th May at the Quay Theatre before joining the stories of Teaching Gods for the run at Barons Court in 2009.  The show has dropped out of my repertoire as I've been working on a new version.  I'm toying with releasing this based on the original text, but we shall see.
Release Date: TBA

The Shakespeare Delusion
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Professor Ashborn invites you to share in his latest discoveries and lead you through the terrible secrets behind the man people call Shakespeare. Did he really write the plays? Was he really bald? Did he really like cheese? Using recently uncovered documentation Professor Ashborn can finally tell the true and completely true, truly true, utterly true, true, true story of the truth behind the Shakespeare delusion!

Audience Comments for The Shakespeare Delusion (2014): “Fabulous production... Just recovering from high octane performance of @RobertCrighton The Shakespeare Delusion #immense... I SO knew where The Shakespeare Delusion was going - & I was SO wrong!!! Chekhov meets Berkoff as performed by Stephen Fry.”
Reviews from 2016:  "Crighton gives a masterful and energetic performance as Ashborn... It’s surreal and confrontational, played with an intensity that was uncomfortable at times but compelling." pubtheatres1
"A brilliantly original and entertaining performance." Five Stars from londontheatre1.com
Release Date: September - listen now on audioboom or YouTube

New Works: Spanking New Drama & Comedy for 2017

LIVE FROM THE GET IN!  

Written by Robert Crighton

Performed by Abbie Broom, Heidi Bernhard-Bubb, Robert Crighton & Michael Fouldes.  And maybe some special guests.

Live from... is a radio comedy and sketch show – live from in front of the set of whichever show is getting in the following week at the Quay Theatre.  New material, sketches and monologues streamed live online.  

The Saturday 4^th March show is currently in the edit.

The UN Special Representative
Written & Performed by Robert Crighton

Mr BEEP BEEP is having a trying day.  He was awoken at three in the morning by a team of 'experts' from the UN, because an event on the other side of the world threatens to change his life forever.  However, the letters U and N do not stand for the United Nations, and his crisis is more existential than actual.

I've been toying with this idea for a story for years and am finally ready to finish it.  I don't know whether I will record this in the studio or in front of an audience, it depends what sorry of funny it ends up being.
Release Date: TBA

Prevent
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: TBA

A follow up play to the award-winning Fantasy Terrorist League, Prevent tells the story of a young man trapped in a flawed system that criminalises thought, and where the gap between real and perceived threats is not acknowledged.
Release Date: TBA

Investigate Me?
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: TBA

'Why aren't you investigating me?'  A twisted version of a police drama, where a member of the public insists on being investigated for possible criminal acts.  The young DC doesn't want to be wasting her time with him, but even her superiors insist on an investigation.  Surreal drama.
Release Date:  TBA

Commentary
Written by Robert Crighton
Cast: TBA

A new play about the different interpretations of the making of a film, as made during an audio commentary for a DVD release.

Release Date:  TBA

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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The Obligatory New Year Message 2017

It's been a busy 2016 - I launched myself on Patreon and started to seriously move in a more organised way online in audio terms.  I popped into London to see how the fringe has changed (not a lot) and (as per usual) lost all my money.

I've also been focusing on archiving and updating - soon the Milk Bottle website will be all up to date with huge amounts of info on past shows as well as acting as a proper delivery system for new and old audio.  There's already a fair amount up, more coming throughout January.  Thanks to Keith for all his hard work on making the website look so good and hold so much.

So, what projects are on their way?  Well, I've been aside a lot of time the next month or so to record versions of my older monologues - so these will start coming out soon.  But the next exciting audio project is Investigate Me? which I've promised for about a year to produce.  It's going to be a huge full length radio play and I'm really exciting about it.  More very soon.

Live from the Get In! returns in March and I've lots of ideas for the next two shows.  I'm really pushing the boat out for them and hoping to have some great new talent on board as well as the regulars.
I'm directing The Time Machine in April.  It's going to look amazing and be a real departure from some of my usual work.  I'll be writing in detail about what the show is going to be like in the next month or so, but, trust me, book those tickets NOW.  There are only three shows happening and it's going to be amazing.  Book those tickets at www.quaysudbury.com

And I'm also directing As You Like It by William Shakespeare for Lavenham Players in July - tickets will be on sale soon.  We've a fabulous cast and I'm really looking forward to getting down and dirty with the text.

I'm also going to be announcing some dates for an occasional show I'm doing with Michael Fouldes - The Museum of Tat Roadshow - based on our radio show.  It'll pop up here and there over 2017.  Like a harmless but slightly annoying rash.

So, basically, 2017 is all about more recordings of old shows, more audio, and a few live bits and bobs.
And the huge secret project I can't tell you about.  There's that as well.

***

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

Also, as there's a lot being planned at the moment, if you want to keep up to speed, why not join my mailing list.  I know, so last century. 

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In the Darkness... Waiting

As the darkness creeps ever more over the Northern Hemisphere, I retreat further under the duvet.  It's not a depressed thing, it's a planning thing.  Most of my projects are now done for this year.  They're edited, or soon to be, they just need to be released.  Coming up over the next few weeks are...

Hang - the radio comedy that started it all, the story of an ordinary man who wants to be a zebra. Released to none patrons next week.

The Museum of Tat Christmas Special - because you deserve to know what horrors await you.

And perhaps a few surprises...

But mostly I'm planning.  I'm planning a production of The Time Machine for next April; I'm planning a production of As You Like It for July; I'm planning the next two Live from the Get In!s; I'm planning and writing and typing up notes on dozens of audio projects for next year and beyond; and I'm planning a mini tour of The Tat Roadshow, the live version of our radio show.

And I'm planning something else.  Something a bit different.  Something I will need collaborators for.  

Next year I need comics, storytellers and blessed lunatics for shows - all need, ideally, to be based in Suffolk/Essex, for a paying job or eight.  If you've got a project that you're interested in pursuing, be it comedy, drama, storytelling - then I'm looking to produce it.  

Get in touch by email and we'll talk: contact@milkbottleproductions.co.uk 

In the meantime - here's some draft artwork for the next Live from the Get In! Tickets are on sale for the next show - 4th March - at www.quaysudbury.com

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

New Comedy - This Year and Next

It's been a busy year for comedy and next year there will be more!
Not only have I finally finished the new edit of Hang - a comedy I recorded in 2014 - but also the first two Live from the Get In! shows.
You can listen to the Live from the Get In! episodes now in the players below, and Hang will be available soon - my patrons get first listen to all material, because they help keep the wheels turning on my work (you can become a patron by visiting www.patreon.com/robertcrighton).
And there's more to come - we have confirmed dates for another two Live from the Get In! shows for next year.  The show broadcasts/records from the Quay Theatre on Saturday 4th March at 7.30pm and Saturday 6th May at 7.30pm - it's always so much fun to catch the recording.  Tickets can be bought from the Quay website now www.quaysudbury.com

Live from the Get In! Episodes One and Two:

The Yellow Wallpaper

This weekend was quite a busy one.  I finished doing a bit of acting in a short film and then went to get in a production of The Yellow Wallpaper, a fascinating work by Charlotte Perkins Gilman.  It was a sell out two night run and turned out really rather well - we're looking to do something with it in the future.  As per my usual habit, here's the basic programme information from the night...

Quay Productions Presents…

The Yellow Wallpaper

By Charlotte Perkins Gilman

Performed by Anthea Halstead

Directed by Robert Crighton

This is an intimate staging of a classic piece of feminist literature - telling the story of a woman isolated in a house in the country, trapped by her husband and family, and forbidden to work, or even to write. All she has to think about is the room she’s in – and the yellow wallpaper.

Performed Monday 14th & Tuesday 15th November 2016 at 7.30pm in the GKR at the Quay Theatre, Sudbury

‘Director’s note:
Though I’m credited as director and Anthea as performer, it isn’t quite so clear cut as that. Rather than choosing a piece, laying out a vision and casting accordingly, Anthea brought the original story to me and suggested we create something from it. Together we’ve pieced together a way of telling this story. Originally written as a first person, in the moment, journal account of events, Anthea wanted to tell the story as an older woman looking back. With this as a starting point we’ve worked together with the text, editing and adapting the piece as we went along. It’s been a long process, nearly six months have passed since we first starting playing with the text, and a number of ideas about how to realise the story have come and gone. This might not be the final version either - the show you’re watching tonight may yet be the start of our next exploration of this text.

Thanks to Alan Scott for lending the lighting, as well as everyone at the Quay for supporting new work like this.

My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

New People Wanted

Hello Lovely People!
Live from the Get In! prep continues apace.  This second show is all ghostly - so I'm hoping you all dress up in your finest Halloween gear, though, let me make this clear, no scary clowns.  They are not allowed.  So, silly costumes please.  Especially as, at only an hour, you can still go out to a good party if you so wish.

Anyway, Live from the Get In! has been renewed for further shows next year - woohoo - and I'm looking for new comics to join us.  I want to find new local comics from the Sudbury area and beyond for next year.  If you think you’re funny, write your own material, or want to perform someone else’s, then I want to hear from you.  It won’t be a turn up, open mic show, the event will be curated and I want to help emerging comics hone their craft and make sure the audience get the laughs for their bucks.

Anyone interested in performing on the show next year can contact me at contact@milkbottleproductions.co.uk or see me after the next show, this Saturday night.

Milk Bottle Productions Presents...
LIVE FROM THE GET IN! 

COMEDY GHOST NIGHT

An hour of radio comedy and sketches with a Halloween Theme

Ghost’s are funny, especially because all they do is play dress up in sheets and creak the odd floorboard. New material, sketches and monologues – it’s an hour of laughter, curated by award-winning writer and performer Robert Crighton and streamed live as a radio show from the auditorium of the Quay Theatre.

Tickets £5

Saturday 29th October at 7.30pm

Box Office: 01787 374 745 

Or book online at www.quaysudbury.com
Live audio streaming on the night can be heard at www.ustream.tv/channel/robert-crighton-storyteller


My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

Live from the Get In - Ghosts

Hello!  The next show is going to be a cracker, I know, I'm writing it now.  Live from the Get In! will be live streamed in two and a half weeks time, and tickets are on sale now for the live experience.

It'll be like the last show - available to listen below! - but different... as it's all about ghosts... whoo... or possibly scary clowns (there will be no scary clowns)... 

First of all, if you're coming - dress up!  I want to see lots of silly costumes.  Especially as, at only an hour, you can still go out to a good party if you so wish (I know it isn't actually Halloween, but it's the Saturday before, that's as good!)

So, lots of good silliness.  And then ghost comedy.  Because, and I know it's possibly an unpopular view, but ghosts are stupid and deserve to be mocked.  I've been watching lots of supposed ghost shows on television as research (sitting in bed watching daytime tv is research! honest! stop looking at me like that!) and, seriously, they're unspoofable.  Because they are their own spoof.  

But I'm having a go anyway.

Milk Bottle Productions Presents...
LIVE FROM THE GET IN! 

COMEDY GHOST NIGHT

An hour of radio comedy and sketches with a Halloween Theme

Ghost’s are funny, especially because all they do is play dress up in sheets and creak the odd floorboard. New material, sketches and monologues – it’s an hour of laughter, curated by award-winning writer and performer Robert Crighton and streamed live as a radio show from the auditorium of the Quay Theatre.

Tickets £5

Saturday 29th October at 7.30pm

Box Office: 01787 374 745 

Or book online at www.quaysudbury.com
Live audio streaming on the night can be heard at www.ustream.tv/channel/robert-crighton-storyteller



My work couldn't happen without the support of my patrons - if you think you could contribute to the work I create, go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton and see if you can help.

Soooo... I'm quite poor now

Continuing the theme of my last post, the problem with doing a piece of theatre, an act defined by the relationship between the performer and an audience, is that without an audience the whole shebang falls apart somewhat.  And, more importantly, you end up being quite poor.
Let's not be vulgar and discuss precise amounts of money - but here's how the balance sheet stands.

Income:  Ticket sales - about eight sold over the run (three pre-sales, plus some walk ups)
Total Income:  Bugger all.

Costs:  Venue hire, publicity, transport, rehearsals, technical... etc.
Total Costs:  Far, far, faaaar too much.

Sooooo... I'm quite poor now.  How can you help, internet?  Well, all I've ever asked for is an audience, a chance to sing for my supper.  There are four ways you can help.

1.  I've a live show radio (Live from the Get In) coming up the end of the month.  If you're in the Sudbury, Suffolk area, or know someone who is, please book tickets and come.  It's also being streamed online - have a listen.  Saturday 29th October, at 7.30pm - LIVE FROM THE GET IN - The Comedy Ghost Show - come dressed up, have a laugh, have a drink, and go onto whichever Halloween party you might have been invited to that night.  More on this show will be blogged shortly!  Tickets can be found here - live streaming on the night here.

2.  Buy a script!  I've a whole load of Undead Bard scripts unsold, they're really quite good and they'll be signed!  Use the paypal link and order one - there are a couple of old scripts available as well.  Well worth a read.  If you're going to Live from the Get In, then they'll be available there too. Any problems with ordering, get in touch.

Script Sale

Undead Bard £10.00 GBP Ghost Storyteller £6.00 GBP Fantasy Terrorist Variations £6.00 GBP All Three Scripts £20.00 GBP

3.  Become a Patron!  I've so many wonderful patrons - though not many use my official Patreon page.  This is a really easy, one stop place to help support my work, and you're linked into everything I create automatically.  It's a monthly payment system, it will take tiny amounts, and you'd be amazed how quickly donations of 70p a month really start to stack up into a proper budget for a show.
To become a patron go to www.patreon.com/robertcrighton

4.  Invite me round to do a show!  I do house parties, telling stories and entertaining you - invite me to yours, get some friends, food and wine round, and I'll do a show in your living room.  I generally pass a hat round at the end of the show and it's a blast.  There's some more info on my website - or just contact me direct.

Regardless as to whether you can make a show, buy, or donate, my work is going to continue online and live for the foreseeable future and I will make as much of it free at source as possible.  For those who missed Undead Bard I will be creating an online version soon and there may be some live one off options coming up.
Thanks people, comrades, supporters and random google searchers.

Invading Mars

It was a busy old week - revived the Everyman show for some students at the University of Essex and then invaded Mars, as you do.
The Martian invasion was due to a show I'd been asked to direct for Out of Kontrol Productions - Orson Welles: The Night We Scared America - a play about the infamous radio broadcast of The War of the Worlds in 1938.  I'll blog in more detail about it sometime, but the headlines are: it went bloody well.  So, here are a few unedited shots from the dress run, taken by the marvellous John Bethell.

 

Shall I Be Mother?

I was asked in the bar the other month: "Would Metal Harvest be suitable for my mother?"
I couldn't answer the question.  I said the reason was, I won't know until I do a run on Sunday.  That wasn't untrue, but it was a bit disingenuous.  We had a good run of the show on Sunday afternoon, the first proper run of the first half with something like the final script and music cues, it answered questions about the show I hadn't had a chance to when running it by myself.  It didn't answer the question: "Would Metal Harvest be suitable for my mother?"
There are some clear indicators about suitability of shows for mothers.  Language is one - and at this point in terms of explicit language of the rude four or so letter variety the frequency is low and probably getting lower.  So, borderline.  But I don't like / am formally opposed to putting up warnings on things saying: "BE WARNED: this show contains three uses of the word BELGIUM!" - "This show Contains Mild Peril and three references to incontinent border collies - partly because people tend to sit there with a mental scorecard waiting for the chance to shout HOUSE! but mostly because there is something dangerously reductive in protecting people from things.  If the show is good it will be because the use of a swear word or similarly provocative language/image will have an effect - if the audience is waiting for that effect, having been pre-warned precisely what to expect, then frankly, fuck this for a game of soldiers.  I don't believe in mollycoddling children, so adults really have no excuse.
I think my problem is what we're talking about here isn't about suitability, or whether it's right for someone, etc. - it's that we treat culture as a product.  We buy into it.  We look at the labels, see if we think it fits us and we spend our money accordingly.  The question isn't - is this suitable for someone's mother - the question is, is this marketed for someone's mother.  Because, perhaps the best people to see a show like this are the people who wouldn't think they should.  Because that is far more interesting and far more valuable.  If we only consume entertainment based on what we like then we will never see things that might challenge us.
This raises the question - should we lie to audiences about the content of our shows?  I have form, or sort of.  I didn't set out consciously to lie about a play, but I suspect my subconscious did.  It is a painful process, but can be remarkably effective.  I've never seen a post show bar so humming with discourse after a show as when the audience thought they were coming to a harmless comedy.  The fatal flaw there was that I mislead the cast as well, and that didn't end well.
Not that Metal Harvest works on this principle.  It's a pre-paid ticketed event and so I feel some obligation to the consumer not to break the pact.  But, whether it's suitable for your mother?  Who can say?  Even if you aren't someone's mother and wish to book, ticket information is below.

In other news, I've just finished recording a second series of our audio comedy The Museum of Tat with my good friend Michael Fouldes - there'll be five episodes released daily from 5th to the 9th October from midday.  Here's the very silly, completely unhelpful teaser trailer.

Milk Bottle Productions Presents...

Metal Harvest

Written and performed by Robert Crighton and Richard Fawcett

“This is the story of a shell...” Throughout the First World War the armaments created passed through many hands – from those in the mines and factories who made them, to those who transported the boxes and those who fired the guns.  This is the story of one shell, the story of those who touched it and whose lives were changed by it.  Told in words, music, image and song, Metal Harvest is the latest work from award-winning theatre producer Robert Crighton, made in collaboration with musician Richard Fawcett. 

Performing on Thursday 29^th October at 7.30pm

Tickets: £9 (Friends £8)

The Quay Theatre, Sudbury

Box Office: 01787 374 745
Book Online: www.quaytheatre.org.uk

Two Days of Writing

I've two days of writing.  Two days of solid writing.  I'm trying to keep my schedule clear, but it hasn't been easy - people have been very kind trying to keep my commitment to the Panto I directed this year light, but there's always something that drags you back to the theatre and I need to finish, I need to complete the work in hand.  It stops the brain from working, from doing the next job - even though the Panto doesn't really need my input anymore.
I took a day off from Pantoland the other day - or half a day off - and went to see a screening of The Crucible by Arthur Miller, as recorded at the Old Vic.  I've never liked Miller.  No, that isn't fair - I can't warm to him.  I don't see it is possible to write the sentence 'I love Arthur Miller' as I can write 'I love Shakespeare' or 'I love the Moomins'.  I can admire, I can respect - definitely respect - but love... not so much.
I lit a production of All My Sons the other year and I couldn't get excited by the play.  It functioned, it had power but... Even his truly great play Death of a Salesman (and it is a brilliant piece of work) is difficult to love, only admire.  The Crucible I've always given short shrift to, partly because we studied it at school (usually a killer) and partly because I've never seen a fully fledged production, only handmedown drama student work or film or audio versions which damaged the structure or the language.
In the documentary series Changing Stages Arthur Miller was interviewed and spoke about reading Shakespeare and marvelling at the construction, the density of language - copying it out to feel the weight of the verse or prose.  You can see this in The Crucible.  The language has a density, a layering which is above natural speech and yet feels real.  I had never appreciated this before and the production brought this clearly to the surface.
I mention all this because, as I tend to do when watching screened plays, I drifted.  I started thinking of my own writing, of the next projects and started writing in my head dialogue for a short piece.  It has been in my mind for a while, but the recent attacks on children in Pakistan made this piece urgent in my mind.  It was time to write and I sketched out the dialogue as I watched and wrote it down on the bus home.  It will be a short Fantasy Terrorist Variation and I will record it on Tuesday and release it on Christmas Day.
Of course, I should be finishing The Trolls Trilogy - I am finishing The Trolls Trilogy.  But this piece needs to come first - because it insisted, and who am I to argue with my brain.  I plan, over the next two days, to finish this short and the last work on Trolls ready to record on Tuesday.  I will then release these last stories each day.  The new FTV on Christmas Day, the new Trolls from Boxing Day through to New Year.
On New Year's Eve I'm performing a secret version of my Trolls stories which I plan to record and put out online next year and maybe I'll even release so of my End of the Road Show.  But we shall see.
Merry Christmas.  More soon.

Not Writing

I'm not writing at the moment, I'm directing a Pantomime.  That isn't to say I can't write or that I'm blocked, I'm directing a Pantomime.  I'm more a coiled spring, waiting till I'm no longer (altogether now) directing a Pantomime.
Which should be in about a week.  Then I will leap into action.  Well I'll have to, I'll only have a couple of weeks to finish off the final part of my Trolls Trilogy and finish my end of the year show.  These jobs will be mostly editing or tidying.  I've got SOOOOO much material for Trolls, just little idea how to structure it.  I've decided it will be released in daily episodes over a week and I suspect it will be more fragmented as a story, rather than a clear forward seeking narrative.  We shall see.
But then, then there are the new plays and the old plays which haven't been scheduled for performance and so sit on my computer, lonely.  There's a new piece I've sketched out in my mind called Happathy.  Which is a happy story about the end of the world - it's fairly short though.  And a sketchy one-to-one piece called Just Say Yes which I could probably throw together in an afternoon, if I were so inclined.  Then there are the two long format plays I've been toying with for years and probably blogged about previously, so I won't go on about them.
Then there's the play with no story.  No logic.  There's a play in my head and it's just a scream.  That's all I can see, a scream.  Lots of screaming.  Or, at least, it ends with a scream - because there's no where else to go.  I think.  I just don't know yet.
But I can't see any work happening on that till after the Pantomime and mundane thoughts about blocking and sound effects and schedules are banished from my brain.
Not that I dislike Pantomime - I really enjoy directing Pantomime, but it does tend to get in the way of my other work and it is, essentially, a commercial product.  I've had some success with commercial theatre - one of my happier productions was directing a production of House Guest by Francis Durbridge.  It's a bloody awful play, frankly, trapped in the 1950's (despite being set in the 1980's) and full of unhelpful repetitions of character names, to the point where you can't remember anyone's name because every sentence seems to contain a name and you end up with snow blindness.  And I chose to do it, rather than Uncle Vanya.
So I cut it.  I hacked it.  A play that was in danger of running two to two and a half hours was culled down to ninety minutes.  If I could have got away with it, I would have cut more and run it without an interval.  (This was, it should be added, quite against the license, but no one checked!)  It contained three deaths, each of which were staged with care.  It had stacks of tension and atmosphere.  My only complaint with the production (apart from the odd lighting and set issue) was the ending.  The ending of House Guest is terrible.  I wish I'd gone a bit further and, rather than just cut down, I'd actively changed the ending.  A final shoot out with the villain blasted through the french windows, sugar glass flying, would have been fab.  But I didn't.  Hey-ho.
Ironically, as a piece of commerce it was a total failure - in that, it didn't actually sell any tickets.  But as a fun, thrilling, suspenseful piece of balls - it was great.
So, as I say, I like the odd bit of commercial directing work - but it does stop me from writing much.  But I can wait.  I can wait.

Once, twice, three times a bard...

I'm currently in bed pretending to write words, taking drugs and trying to learn lines.  It's been such a nice couple of weeks and being ill is very annoying.  Last week was the first revival of The Juliet Inquiry which we first did in April.  The cast were keen to do it again and a couple of venues came up so off we went on a two day mini tour of village halls.  The first was in Lavenham, where we were in competition with the local cub scouts.  The minutes silence at the beginning of the show was less effective with the herds of elephants next door and above us.  After a while they calmed down a bit and it was business as usual.  The next day we played Offton, which also went well (everyone was very welcoming) and we left with promises to return one day - so that's got me thinking about doing a bit more touring.  There are a lot of towns and villages in my part of the world that don't see theatre, live theatre, on their doorstep.  It'll probably be a pain to organise, but I see big rewards artistically.
The Juliet Inquiry is a bit of a beast of a show to organise, as it requires a lot of equipment - projectors and television screens.  My next revival, The Shakespeare Delusion, is quite the opposite.  I can tour the show with a small bag and have done.  This I'm doing on Saturday in London (Dr Theatre will be on call) at the LOST Theatre for the third time this year.  Then I whizz back to Suffolk for a Waiting for Godot rehearsal and the world premiere of Historic Crimes on Monday.  These are the three plays that make up my Shakespeare Trilogy (excluding Godot, obviously) and, all in all, I'm very pleased with them.  And if I wasn't ill, I'd be making a bit more of a fuss about them all.
One thing I did do, whilst updating my CV, was have a little look at how many plays I've ever written.  I've never counted them before.  So I did.  Historic Crimes will be number 42.  Now, some of these plays are shorts, so we have to knock that number down a bit, (if we were to say how many evenings entertainments I have created rather than individual works) and a good quarter of them are either shit or lost (or both) - but if I were to curate a season of my work I could happily programme a full three week schedule with a different play / cluster of plays each day - without too much shite.
When the fuck did I get round to doing all this writing?  Seriously, I've only really been doing this properly for ten/twelve years.  There are a couple of pieces that pre-date that, but I found my voice around 2003 when I sat down and adapted four or five Greek tragedies in the space of a month (workman like, but not without merit in places) and haven't looked back since.  Except now, now I'm looking back.  This year I've written half a dozen plays - mostly one-acts - and I've got at least two full length plays drafted to write next year.  But now I'm worried about my style.  I'm worried about my dialogue, I'm worried that there are a few too many patterns.  If I were to (don't worry, I won't) put all my plays back to back, how long before the patterns show up in a bad way.  Have I got lazy?  Am I set in my ways?
I've tried to avoid that by dancing from one genre to another - by changing the kind of play you write you have to change your style.  But there are only so many genres and even then... I can see tropes returning.  Cut, cut, cut.  Freestyle it.  Start again.  But should I start again, destroy a draft, just because it is similar to something gone before?  Just because it is replaced by something new, doesn't mean that new is better than the old.  Maybe I'll kill good work just for form.
These are the thoughts dancing around my fevered brain as I try to put the last polish on Historic Crimes.  I know I can't take it much further - so I mustn't mess it up by playing around too much.  But the next play?  Who knows?

Milk Bottle Audio Presents...

Historic Crimes

World Premiere By Robert Crighton – the Quay’s Artist in Residence

What would you want to see if you could look back in time and watch famous events in history?  And what would you do if they greatly disappointed you?  Or you discovered a hidden crime?  Would you tell the world if you discovered that Shakespeare no less was guilty of the worst of crimes?  Could you ever read his plays again?  Or allow them to be staged?  World premiere of a modern morality tale about Bardolatry, sex and lies – staged as a live radio broadcast and streaming live online at www.ustream.tv/channel/robert-crighton-storyteller

Performing at the Quay Theatre, Monday 13th October at 7.30pm - and live streaming online.

Encore Thoughts

I went to see Medea today - an encore performance of the National Theatre production at my local cinema.  I've watched a lot of theatre this way now.  I rather like it, as I've posted before.  But...
I seem to drift.  My thoughts are almost always pulled elsewhere.
Now, this was a very good production, mostly great performances (wasn't convinced by some of the smaller roles) and I did enjoy it.  I don't think, if I'd been in the room, that I'd have drifted.  But I noticed, often, that instead of fully engaging with the work, I was thinking about something else.  I stopped listening to the words and would snap back with a jolt.
I think this isn't because of the show, I think it's the format.  I had the same thing with Macbeth last year and many operas.  I didn't have this with The Audience or Skylight.  But they had a lot more humour and it's harder to drift if you're laughing.
That isn't to say my drifting ruined the event for me.  I drifted to a purpose, as I basically planned out a complete production of Oedipus the King in my head.  I had no intention of doing so before I went, I just started thinking and reacting to the play (which I last saw over ten years ago but have never staged) by thinking about a play that I have staged many times.  In part or in whole three times.  I used to stage a lot of Greek tragedy, or at least, a simplified sort.
I've never fully staged a production with a proper chorus.  It's always been chorus light.  This has largely been for practical reasons - not having enough people - but also because I didn't really know how to do it.  I liked to get to the bare bones of the drama, rewriting the plays so that the chorus was a singular figure.  But watching Medea I started again, in my head.  Not that I wanted to copy the dance work or the idea of chorus used in this production.  I had an image of something quite different in my mind, something from a dance piece elsewhere, that hit me.  And then I was designing the set, looking at a rehearsal structure, thinking back to the texts I've used in the past.
And yet I was still watching Medea, still enjoying (if that's the right word) the event, still engaged - if fitfully.
Then I remembered that this is how I write sometimes.  I'll get a DVD of a Shakespeare or other classic text and half watch / listen to it, while notebook in hand I dance shapes of dialogue about a page.  Sometimes I'll watch, sometimes I'll work, sometimes I'll get myself a cup of coffee.  There is a term for this kind of viewing.  Selective inattention.  And it's just how my cookie rolls.
So, you might be in for a bit of Greek tragedy from me again.  It's been quite a few years since the last one and I think it's time to go back.
But, for the moment, I need to finish writing Historic Crimes for next month.  It's nearly at a first draft stage.  I've been pulling all the threads of my notes together and am very nearly there.

But till then - here's a new episode of a comedy thing I've been working on.  The Museum of Tat.  Enjoy.

listen to ‘The Museum of Tat #2’ on Audioboo